I think I’ve said this before but I am trying to keep myself somewhat informed about what is going on without short circuiting my brain or sending my anxiety into overdrive. Despite with my desire to check in and be in the know, I make a conscious effort to take breaks. Even if I’ve only been reading an article for a minute or watching a news program for five minutes, if I feel myself getting overwhelmed, I shut it down. I call a friend or family member, I write, I walk, I meditate, I have a snack. I just allow myself to disconnect and decompress. I am not ignorant. I am nourishing myself so I can make it through this time as healthy and balanced as possible.
Anyway, along those lines, I don’t know if anyone needs a laugh right now, but I sure as hell do. I’ve been seeking some modicum of levity in the books I read, television programs I watch, and “company” I enjoy (via FaceTime and phone calls, of course). I couldn’t bring myself to join the Facebook group addressing resources on Long Island (though I commend the initiative), but I did join a group sharing funny memes during this time. I am not making light of what is going on. I feel the entirety of this in ever fiber of my being. I am simply trying to keep a sense of perspective about this. I am attempting to keep myself from doom and gloom.
That was my initial thought in continuing to speak to people on the online dating sites. I’m sure most of you have seen the COVID-19 online dating memes by now. Right? Like how us gals are expecting poets and the most high-level, skilled af wooers during this time. Or how us single folks just need to hang in because 30 days of quarantine and the divorce stats are going to sky rocket. Funny, but not really, but also, funny.
There is some truth to those sentiments though. I will address the first thought in this blog and then the second a day or so from now, maybe.
In theory, this horrific time would actually be an ideal time for people to get to know each other online. Rather than being subjected to the strange fast forwarding that our existing dating scheme currently boasts, people would be forced to extend their courtship. In an idyllic scenario (all things considered), people will take this time to really talk to each other, really get to know each other. They will have more meaningful exchanges and explore human interaction when it is stripped down to the studs. Without an imminent meaning or the distractions of regular social activity, people can explore each other’s personalities, traits, and qualities.
Well, imma bout to burst that bubble of yours. I’m trying to be understanding when it comes to the greetings. You know, the ‘happy quarantine’ or ‘how YOU doing during this plague?’ I am trying to tell myself that this is how people are coping. Acknowledging the existence of this thing we are faced with, while not succumbing entirely (as evidenced by their desire to continue looking for a soul mate on the Internet). The good feelings stop there. Mostly. There is a lot of complaining. A lot of it. I get it. This sucks. This is frustrating and scary and honestly, really fucking insane. But I’m not sure spending time complaining to an abject stranger is going to make anything any better. A brief vent would be fine but we seem to get stuck there. In a world of bitching and moaning without the ability to move through it. I try. I do. I ask what they like to do outside of work in normal circumstances. This seems to set off a whole new round of wah wah. So, I stop trying. Don’t get pissy here. Laugh. It’s ridiculous. The filters are gone and these men have gone lost their damn minds. Betcha it’s the same with the ladies too. Stuck at home + feeling lonely and frustrated + normal weird dating shit today = zero social decorum.
Then are the guys that seem to have a handle on this whole thing but it is clear that they are filling their quarantine time by talking to as many women as humanly possible. I think that’s what’s going on. I mean, we are all stuck inside and it still takes someone four days to respond? What does that mean for when they aren’t trapped in their abode? Does that mean they regularly take ten days? OR worse, are they specifically engaging in a particular waiting period just for the fuck of it? So yeah, I like to think that they are being managing their queue of potential gfs which is why it takes them eons to respond. The best part about it is that with the world changing as quickly as it is right now, the answer to my question or my answer to their question becomes entirely irrelevant by the goddamn time they decide to respond.
Don’t mistake my strong language for anger. I am not angry. I find this hilarious. This is the time for us to settle down and self-reflect and figure shit out. But people aren’t doing that at all. I mean I am not trying to broad stroke everyone here with a wand of judgment. There ARE people who are doing just that. They are coming together, reassessing, being kinder, appreciating, and reflecting. There are also assholes who are resorting to the same old, same old.
It makes me want to be funny but I’m not sure I have the skills to be funny enough under the circumstances. I want to tell these guys that under normal circumstances I’m good with the short-term ghosting, but given the state of the world, it makes me want to alert the authorities. So, to preserve their personal isolation, it is best if I just delete them.
In all seriousness, there are plenty of things to share. There is all the normal ‘stuff’, like what I like to eat, what hobbies I have, etc. There is also the normal but abnormal ‘stuff’ like what I like to cook while stuck in my apartment, how I practice social distancing when on my walks/jogs, and what’s doing with my job.
But yeah, I don’t care for the bullshit when the world is right and I certainly have less patience when the world is upside down. However, I’m laughing. I’m not pissed off. I’m not frustrated. Not with this silliness. I am laughing my ass off that even a pandemic can’t seem to get people to straighten up and fly right. That gives me all the hope in the world, not less. We are fucking resilient, man.
Talk to you tomorrow.
L.
thepathtoworthy.com 