It was raining during my run yesterday morning. I had this silly thought whereas I wished the rain would somehow wash all of this insanity away. A massive cleanse. Ideally, in this fantasy, we would be pummeled by torrential downpours and then it would suddenly clear, taking this heartbreaking and terrifying madness with it. I knew the thought was insane while I was letting it float to consciousness but I strangely didn’t have the desire to squash it. Why? Well I suppose it felt like an escape from the other dark thoughts that have been slipping in here and there, and weighing me down. It felt like something akin to hope. It was clearly far-fetched and absolutely impossible but allowing myself to ponder such an event felt like giving my brain a little vacation.
Have you been giving your brain a rest? What about your heart? Maybe you’ve established a quarantine or WFH routine and that’s great. Maybe you’ve found a way to express yourself and work through everything you are feeling right now and that’s amazing. Maybe you’ve explored what works for you and you’ve found the perfect threshold whereas you know just how much information to absorb and when to take a break. That is perfect.
So my question for you now is: have you allowed yourself a proper check-out?
The first time I gave myself one of these moments, I instantly felt guilty. I felt like I wasn’t taking this whole situation seriously enough. I felt like I was mocking and besmirching the memory of every human that has been lost to this virus. I felt like I was tempting fate and opening myself up to the most tragic form of irony. I felt scared that my time-out would make reality more real when I “returned.”
But then I realized how critical that kind of hiatus is for me. Let me see if I can describe this in a way that makes sense. I like a good bath. You may not be a bath person but maybe you have children or grandchildren who you bathe. Maybe you simply remember the sensation of bathing as a child. Anyway, it’s not all that important so please forgive the ramble. My point was to help you envision what I’m about to talk about.
Anyway. When you’ve been in a bath for some time, the water begins to cool. Like most people, this is a sign for me to instantly turn on the faucet and allow some hot water to infuse the tepid water surrounding me. Who needs a cool bath?! I’m not a professional athlete. The thing is, before I can allow more water to fill the tub, I have to let a little out. Most tubs are similar to mine in that they have some kind of fill point, whether finite and obvious or not. One of two scenarios when you overfill most tubs happens. Either the tub starts to drain automatically or else you just slosh water right over the side (which as an aside, makes a horrifying mess).
In the event you haven’t guessed it, this is a prime analogy for the brain vacation you need to take right now. I have not changed my mind in believing that having an outlet or two is key during times like this, but a great outlet still employs your brain. You use your brain to cook, clean, paint, write, etc. Nearly every activity requires brain input. Right. So how do we shut our brain off? And how do we know it’s off?
As I always remind you, we are all different. With that said, I’m going to recommend two approaches to a brain vacation that you might want to try. Even if they don’t work, thinking about and considering these methods I am about to share might get you closer to understanding what might work for you. Okay, so here goes….
One method is some sort of physical activity. For reasons of social distancing and also to reinforce the idea of what you are trying to achieve, which is a disconnect, I would discourage doing that physical activity with someone else. You also have to sort out whether the activity you are drawn to truly allows a disconnect. I’ve shared before that running is a mixed bag for me. Sometimes I can completely bury myself in the experience and unlatch from reality. Other times I can’t get out of my head for the life of me. What this tells me is that we have to generally investigate whether an activity is conducive to stilling the mind but then also, a more critical evaluation has to be done on a day-by-day basis.
This sounds great but how do you really know on any given day if the activity is going to be good or bad for you? Again, this is a pretty subjective experience but I can share certain indicators. If you are automatically over-thinking or stressed at the onset of your run or activity, it is unlikely that you will completely release it when you jump in. It is possible, but not plausible. If the activity feels like a drag or obligation, it will probably not do the trick either. There is nothing wrong with trying an activity out and finding out that it did not quite work. Just catalog it as some good old-fashioned exercise and move it through.
If you can ALWAYS disconnect during a particular activity, that’s great. If not, I might suggest trying something that is a bit out of the norm for you. So, maybe take a virtual dance aerobics class. Maybe take a yoga class online. Fun is great because fun usually pushes the doldrums out. Fun gets you to carefree and yes, that is where we are going right now. Don’t be afraid to have fun. Don’t feel guilty having fun. I’m not suggesting you turn into a clown. I’m not saying you should make a mockery of this whole thing or deny reality. I am saying you can laugh for a minute. For me, it’s usually dance related because although I danced for 700 years as a child, I am a disaster today. Put me in a Zumba class and I’ll shuffle my way right out of the room.
The second option is to mentally do the work to disconnect without a physical trigger. This can come in all different forms. You can literally hop into your garage and give a good yell. That will release all the crazy and insane feelings that you have and enable you to have a momentary bit of peace. You can meditate. If you haven’t meditated before, I can provide you with some tips or you can search it out on YouTube. You can take a nap. Not 4 hours, though if you need it, do it. Just a half hour or 40 minutes. Hell, take 15 minutes if that’s all you have. You can sit in a room or corner of your apartment and quietly breathe with your eyes closed. You get the point, right? There are so many ways to do this. So just keep trying until you find what works for you.
The first step is giving yourself permission. You are entitled to give your brain a rest. It needs it or else it’s definitely going to overflow and the thing is…you don’t really get to choose what you lose off the top.
Talk to you tomorrow.
L.
thepathtoworthy.com 