I know many people that are struggling right now. Many of those folks feel overwhelmed because of the situation we currently find ourselves in; navigating through the challenges presented by a pandemic. Some of them feel besieged because they had issues from “before” that they weren’t really dealing with and now they are facing the consequences of that inaction on top of what’s going on in the world right now.
I think we know how I feel about not dealing with your shit, but I’m also sure that we will revisit that topic quite a few times over time. This post is not about that particular rabbit hole. Rather, I want to deal with a specific issue people are contending with right now which is sleep.
I have to first disclaimer that I am not a good sleeper. I’ve never been. I think it’s a bit genetic as my dad isn’t the best of sleepers. I tend to stay up late and wake up early, so I don’t get that blissful eight hours that people speak of. I don’t want that fact to color what I’m about to discuss here, but I think it’s fair to share in keeping with full disclosure. The thing is that I value my sleep. I don’t get a ton of it and sometimes it is disrupted by my thoughts and feelings, but for the most part, I recognize and respect it for what it is, a chance for my body and mind to refresh and reset.
I also want to take another moment to talk about my habits. I do stay up later than many folks, I’ve been known to take a nap in the afternoon, and you might find me pushing through feelings of fatigue to preserve what I believe to be my typical sleep patterns. What don’t I do? I don’t sleep to avoid dealing with shit in my life, I don’t sleep to provide myself emotional comfort, and I don’t engage in behavior that deliberately upsets my somewhat unusual sleep schedule.
Please do not misunderstand me. I am not being judgmental or condescending. I know that often it feels like we have no choice but to give into the abyss that is sleep. Our mind can feel so overwrought that the only thing we can think to do is close our eyes and remove all stimuli and thought processes. Or on the other side of that coin, sometimes we resist sleep because we know our mind is going to rest on matters we have to deal with once we down. In both situations, we are being avoidant. We are using oversleeping or lack of sleep as an unhealthy response to what is plaguing us. I want to be clear that many forms of depression, which is typically what prompts the alteration of sleep patterns, requires professional help and can sometimes require medication. What I am going to talk about is not in lieu of getting proper help, but rather, is a process for identifying the issue or tackling it when it is more benign.
Giving into the desire to sleep or resisting the urge to sleep are pretty easy decisions. When we feel overcome by the outside world, closing our eyes literally makes it disappear, which literally makes the problem disappear. Alternatively, if you are someone who knows your mind relaxes as you drift and starts to focus on issues you’ve been purposefully neglecting, you might want to anything but sleep. The thing is, and I am sure you know this, both of these responses are temporary fixes. Sure, they work for a few hours or a few days, or even a few months. But long term? No dice. Long term the body breaks down and forces a reconciliation. Eventually, the body gets ill from these solutions. The mind becomes more troubled when we employ these tactics, not less.
The thing is, sometimes we don’t even realize we are doing this. The mind is a fascinating machine. Your body will tell you that you are tired and just need some catch-up or it will tell you that you are just feeling tired, but you aren’t actually tired. So if that is truly the case then how to we recognize when it’s happening in order to best deal with it?
Well, to start there are some telltale signs you can keep in mind.
Everyone has different sleep patterns that suits them best. Sure, health professionals and various medical sources will tell you that eight hours is the goal, but that is not feasible or workable for everyone for a variety of reasons. That said, there are definitely more normal sleep situations. Work schedule and lifestyle will dictate the exact times, but all things considered, the most common and healthy sleep situation involves a block of sleep. So, if you are a nine to fiver, you might sleep from 11 PM to 6 AM. If you have to work nights or the like, you might sleep from 9 AM to 3 PM. Your sleep might be a little less or a little more, but you get the idea, right? Thus, if you find yourself (as a daytime worker bee) sleeping from like 12 to 2 AM and drifting off at work at 3 PM or needing to take a nap in your car, that’s your red flag.
While many like to grab a little extra shuteye on the weekends (or days they are off from work), generally one’s sleep schedule should follow the same pattern as weekdays. If you are sleeping your days off away in entirety, your flag is crimson.
Naps are when you sleep BRIEFLY during the day. If you are taking 4 or 5 hour naps, when you’ve already slept for hours during your allotted sleep time, your flag is on fire.
There are more signs and red flags galore, but I’m hoping these few examples give you a good idea. Like I said, sleep is a different strokes for different folks situation but within reason. Feelings of deprivation or excess are definitive signs that something is awry.
A crisis is not an excuse or the perfect time to allow yourself to go off the rails. It is a time where sleep and nutrition and all that good stuff is critically important. This is the shit we have control over. So, control your shit. Call a therapist, call a doctor, call a friend. Don’t be afraid to admit there’s a problem. Be afraid to pretend there’s not one. You feel me?
Talk to you tomorrow.
L.
thepathtoworthy.com 