I don’t want to mince words or hold back here, because I never have. I am only hesitating at all because I am mindful when it comes to the impact of my words. I want them to help, not harm. I want them to illuminate, not shadow. I don’t wish to be petty. I want to be open-minded and thoughtful. Okay, you get that, right?
I alluded to this a couple of posts ago, but I’ve been having an adverse reaction lately to the social media presence of some of the folks who attended high school with me. My first “cringe” moment led me to check myself. As I’ve explained on many occasions, I like to think of myself as pretty open minded. I’ve never been comfortable with the idea that I would write someone off simply because we don’t share the same views. So, I struggled and then I made the decisions that I felt were appropriate on a case by case basis. Some folks I snoozed, some I unfriended, and others I left as-is.
Outside of giving me peace of mind, this exercise I’ve described also allowed me to take an overall closer look at the social media existence of many of my so-called Facebook “friends” and find some really good stuff. I mean it. Really. Good. Stuff.
I was able to bear witness to selflessness, kindness, bravery, humor, and loads of patience. I was awed by folks’ intelligence and sensitivity. I was inspired by their ability to silver-living the shit out of this nightmare. I found a couple of posts particularly compelling and that’s what I’d like to talk about here. I want to talk about the good stuff. The really good stuff.
I’ve shared before that I am not particularly religious. I like to describe myself as culturally Jewish. I am also an extraordinarily spiritual person. That point is neither here nor there outside of the context it provides. Outside of my belief system, or lack thereof, I’ve often been able to see the wisdom and value in certain religious teachings. I have difficulty subscribing to that which alienates or disparages any particular group of people, but I feel connected to those lessons that encourage love, accountability, and having a moral compass.
A gentleman who I knew and actually quite respected in high school put up a video on Facebook whereas he described the story of Cain and Abel. In particular, he focused on the concept of ‘my brother’s keeper.’ He delved into some of the specifics of the scripture, but ultimately came to the conclusion that we are our brother’s keeper. Said otherwise, we have a responsibility to take care of one another.
That concept in itself isn’t all that revolutionary. It was the sentiment that this gentleman shared in addition to that idea that really grabbed me. He described the fundamental difference between things we do because we feel obligated and those we do with a loving an open heart. He expressed that this massive responsibility, to take care of each other, should be undertaken with love and pure intention.
Is that even possible?
I’ve actually always struggled with that basic idea. We know how to define altruism, but how do we recognize it? What metrics can we use to measure true selflessness? If we truly want to help others but we also feel good because of the recognition we get for doing so, does that make null and void our so-called self-sacrifice? What if I told you that I don’t believe there is really a way to truly measure? What if I told you that unselfishness is so fluid and intertwined with our egos and sensitivities that you could find yourself on both sides of the line at any given moment, given the same exact set of facts.
Don’t misunderstand me. I love the concept that he proposed and I think the spirit should be upheld as much as possible. I just don’t want anyone to get stuck on the nuances. Here is the part you should hold fast to: do good things for other people with a kind heart. I know, simple. And yet, many of us seem to be lacking the ability to adhere to this very simply idea lately.
I know that there is evidence of goodness everywhere. There are birthday parades and mask making fundraisers. There are folks running errands for those unable to do so and nurses holding up iPads so the infirmed can see their families. There is so much goodness on grand scales.
What I haven’t seen in abundance are smaller acts of goodness. Evidence that folks are living by the axiom ‘I am my brother’s keeper’. I see hateful rhetoric and impatience. I see criticism and a whole lotta judgment. I love that people have posted signs on their laws thanking our essential and front-line workers, but if they are flagrantly disregarding what our medical and scientific professionals are imploring us to do, aren’t those words just lip service? Aren’t they failing to take those words, those ideas, to heart?
To truly be our brother’s keeper with the purest of motivations, don’t we need to set aside our own wants and needs to some extent? I am not talking about reckless abandon or a departure from one’s own morals and values. I am talking about being a little uncomfortable for the sake of the greater whole. I am talking about feeling frustrated but doing the work to keep a little perspective, or a lot.
What would the world be like if we operated under a paradigm of robust and singular individualism? What if we woke up tomorrow and decided that in all things, it should be every man or woman for him or herself? Is that a world that you feel comfortable living in? That’s not my idea of a peaceful or happy place. Is the idea of what you believe the world should be only possible at the exclusion of whatever anyone else needs or wants? That’s also not a world I want to live in.
We have to look out for each other and we have to lift each other up and support each other with an open mind and an open heart. That only works if we all give a little. That only works if we compromise. That only works if we communicate. That only works if anger and frustration are last resorts and not first responses. That only works if we do not tolerate intolerance.
I am not telling you the world that you should want to live in. I am telling you the world that I want to inhabit. A kinder world. A gentler world. A world where I am my brother’s keeper.
Just give it a little thought. That’s all I’m asking of you. We will shape what happens next. What you decide DOES matter.
Talk to you tomorrow.
L.
thepathtoworthy.com 