Day 77.

Lucky number 7’s. Doesn’t feel so lucky right now, huh? I mean, I feel lucky. There’s a lot of people that probably don’t feel lucky.

I am going to start with a very, very quick recap. You know, like how a good Netflix series takes you on a spin through the last episode so you remember what the fuck happened. Samesies. Given how insane the world is right now and how I can barely remember what day of the week it is, seems useful to take a spin through what happened last.

Anyway, in my last post I described a conversation with a friend as follows: “One individual respectfully agreed with the movements across the country but said that she would love to see more dialogue on how no murder, no violence is acceptable. She advised that ‘so many victims of violence go ignored and their stories are not acknowledged because they don’t fit within a group/narrative/history of victims.’”

Here’s my hard truth. The first reaction I had to that statement was judgment. Yup. I judged her. Insane, right? I did NOT judge her to be a bad person. Not AT ALL. I just did a quicker appraisal of the situation than I should have. I thought what she said sounded dismissive and shortsighted. It sort of sounded like the folks that are trying to minimize #blacklivesmatter right now by pointing to other inequity that exists in the world. What I did next is what I constantly encourage each of you to do on a regular basis. I took a breath. I thought about the person behind the words and her experience on this planet. She is educated and worldly. She has given back to this country and our world in ways that I don’t need to expand upon because I’m going to ask you to just trust me on this one. She is kind and generous to a fault. In many ways, we owe her a debt of gratitude.

So, yeah. There was not even a snippet of hatred, flippancy, or ignorance behind her statement. In fact, after a second look I realized that I don’t feel that dissimilar. I think I’ve been hesitant to speak the words aloud for the same reason I was quick to jump on the sentencing train.

I want to start by explaining how absolutely critical it is for us to attend to rampant injustice as it rears its ugly head for any particular group. #blacklivesmatter should be a trending cause, it should be a cause we dedicate ourselves to acknowledging and working for, for a long, long time. Until it doesn’t need a hashtag anymore, really. It just so happens that a lot of really ugly shit has happened lately and so we need to put our energy there more than we ever have before. We need to ride the wave of this “trend” to take advantage of the good and necessary attention this issue is getting right now. Understood? Okay. Now…

We clearly have a pervasive issue of violence in our society. You can certainly quote statistics back to me but it doesn’t matter, not really. I understand the nuances. I understand the factors that impact the figures. I understand the underlying conditions. Those matter but just not for my purposes here. I am talking about violence on every level, in every shape and form in comes in. I am talking about verbal assaults, like uncivil conversations, manipulative speech, and bullying. I am talking about physical and sexual violence in the form of bodily assault, rape, abuse, and murder. I am talking about deprivation. All. Of. It.

I am not looking to dissect the various ways in which humans hurt one another. I am looking to understand why accountability is parsed out the way that it is and more importantly, why we continue to accept that fact. I am trying to wrap my brain around why we don’t take the time to figure out a better way. I don’t know why we don’t use our energy to strategize in a meaningful way and then demand more. Is it possible that the reason we don’t is because we’ve not been subject to ‘enough’ ourselves? It is possible that we were able to overcome or survive what we’ve been subject to and therefore, we are content enough with that reality? Is it possible that because it is generally accepted that it is challenging to understand the plight of others, it is not worth it to even try? What is it?

I’m not sure that I know the answers.  I’ll tell you what I do know though. I do know that it is time to start asking the right questions, the tough questions. You can freak the fuck out when you turn on your television and see what’s going on in the world but I’d prefer that you look within and ask yourself why you are just caring right now. Here is a very uncomfortable news flash: this goes on all the time. Not riots. Not looting. Violence. Anger. Injustice. All. The. Time.

As you know, I was in a relationship once where I suffered egregiously at the hands of another human. I was not physically abused by this individual but I was emotionally abused. I have before and I will continue to take responsibility for my role, my part in what went down. That said, it doesn’t remove his responsibility in it and it doesn’t make what occurred any easier to process, even years later. I mean, I started this blog as a way to continue processing what I went through and to encourage others to do the same. I wanted to create a forum where questions could be asked and maybe answered, fears could be appeased, and solace could be sought. I wanted to find myself in a better place and I wanted to try and take a few people with me.

Is that enough?

Yes and also, no.

I am attempting to outreach. I am writing. I support organizations that are doing real on-the-ground work. I try and speak out when I witness injustice. Can I do more? Sure I can. But, how?

Well, what if I started to look for stories when the stories were more difficult to find? What if I hit the refresh button and brought to air an issue that our society had decided was done? What if I acknowledged that people’s stories, their lives, their situations are more than a hashtag or a headline? I feel certain that the events that shape us are more than flash-in-a-pan scenarios. They are meaningful and as such, they deserve a closer look. They deserve a second look. They deserve an open mind. They deserve dedication and perseverance. They do not deserve to be forgotten or abandoned. They do not deserve to be a #TBT.

So, I am going to start by giving you a list of some organizations that support worthy and often neglected causes.  I am not going to publicize #blacklivesmatter causes because there is a good deal of publicity for those right now. Please do NOT misunderstand me. Support of those organizations is critical, particularly at this juncture. I am merely stating that because other folks have taken the reins there, I am going to go in a little bit of a different direction. I am going to acknowledge the wish that was spoken to me in that conversation I referenced earlier.

Ready?

Here we go (I am going to list the organizations and their mission statements—if they are too controversial for you, please feel free to skip—but do NOT feel free to criticize or hate):

• The Southern Poverty Law Center: The SPLC is dedicated to fighting hate and bigotry and to seeking justice for the most vulnerable members of our society. Using litigation, education, and other forms of advocacy, the SPLC works toward the day when the ideals of equal justice and equal opportunity will be a reality.
• Planned Parenthood: PP delivers vital reproductive health care, sex education, and information to millions of people worldwide.
• The Human Rights Campaign: The HRC represents a force of more than 3 million members and supporters nationwide. As the largest national lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer civil rights organization, HRC envisions a world where LGBTQ people are ensured of their basic equal rights, and can be open, honest and safe at home, at work and in the community.
• Puppies Behind Bars: PBB trains prison inmates to raise service dogs for wounded war veterans and first responders, as well as explosive-detection canines for law enforcement.
• The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network: RAINN is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. It created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country and operates the DoD Safe Helpline for the Department of Defense. RAINN also carries out programs to prevent sexual violence, help survivors, and ensure that perpetrators are brought to justice.
• The National Alliance on Mental Illness: NAMI is the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness.

There are many, many others. If you have any suggestions…throw them in the comments, please. These are some organizations that I have researched and worked with. They do the work. They educate. They push our representatives. They reach out. They help. The don’t give up.

You don’t give up either, okay?

Talk to you tomorrow.

L.