This post is dedicated to my lovely mama and the following young ladies who I am very lucky to know (aka my heroes/our future): Victoria, Esther, Mia, Maria, Neeka, and Zoe.
I was in weird mood last night. Not a bad mood or a sad mood. More contemplative. Sometimes this happens after I spend time with people I care about. I am so aware of these strange circumstances and how disconnected we are in some ways, and that makes me a bit…pensive. I can’t say exactly what was on my mind. It was more so EVERYTHING. Really. Like the pandemic, the protests, work, friends, dating, health, etc. All of it.
And then…this morning happened, and it changed everything. For today. For the weekend. For as long as I will let it stay with me.
I’ve mentioned them before I believe, but mom and I have been meeting via Zoom with a group of eight soon-to-be 9th graders. Maybe it’s more appropriate to say graduating 8th graders, because they aren’t quite there yet. Almost, but not just yet. Anyway, we’ve been discussing some pretty intense and relevant topics over the last few weeks. It’s been magic. They are smart, funny, insecure, thoughtful, and the list goes on.
I don’t know how it happened, but somehow, my mom was asked by the principal of her old school (remember, she retired) to bring The Warriors (that’s what we call this spectacular crew of young women) to a Google Meet with a group of 6th graders. There was no particular agenda, other than sharing their experiences, thoughts, and feelings. Mom asked the girls first how they felt and to my amazement (and joy), they immediately signed-on.
So, we prepared. They chose topics that were meaningful to them, most of which we had addressed during our “sessions”, and then wrote down some of their specific thoughts. We reviewed, discussed, and modified. Their commitment to the process was as admirable as their willingness to participate.
Today was the day. THE DAY. Presentation day. There were a few technological glitches (it happens), but suddenly, we were presenting to a group of 106 6th graders and school faculty. And that was just the first meeting. The second boasted around 110 participants.
When all was said and done and we were chatting with the girls post-presentation, they advised us that they were less nervous because of the online forum. They said that they couldn’t view everyone participating and that made it less intimidating. That doesn’t even matter. Truly. These young women knew that over 100 individuals were tuning in for each session and they poured their beautiful, open hearts right out. They spoke plainly but passionately. They were articulate, sweet, and so, so brave.
As for me? I was rendered speechless, which for me is amazing (I mean, we know this by now, no?). I know businesspeople that have been interacting on a professional level with many, many people for years who would not have the opportunity, nor the courage, to speak to over 200 people in the span of two hours.
The thing is, that’s not even the biggest piece of it. It’s not the most important bit. You know what is the very best part? They spoke about REALLY TOUGH STUFF. They started and continued really difficult conversations on really challenging topics. And they were PERFECT. I mean that. Perfection.
And they weren’t perfect because they were perfect, and that, my friends, is the lesson. Don’t get me wrong as they totally kicked ass. Beyond. The start of difficult conversations comes from a place deep inside of us. A place where we crave total honesty, resolution, and connection. When we first try and access that place, we might fail. We fail because when we get close we get scared. Scared of disagreement, confirmation, confrontation, and most of all, loss. We tend to keep things simpler and safer. And yet, despite the risks, fears, and struggles, these young women jumped in with both feet. They were unsure of the journey and yet, they stumbled forward. Not reluctantly either. They charged forward into the murkiness. Yes, they asked questions along the way. Yes, they expressed fears while preparing. Yes, they doubted themselves. And yet, they did it anyway.
Imagine such a thing? I mean really. Put aside your egos, judgment, and assumptions. Contemplate the purity of their action. How absolutely transcendent it is to witness that kind of….gumption.
Now, imagine if we could get there as adults. Imagine we didn’t lose it as children if we had it. Imagine learning it if we hadn’t. Imagine wanting to get there so badly that if you didn’t have it and never got it, you would reach for it. You would seek it out. You would find a way. Rather than hiding from the thing…what if we learned to run straight into it?
I am not talking about callous, brash behavior. These young women weren’t rude or tone-deaf. They were loving, compassionate, vulnerable, and generous.
I mean really understanding that it is not about getting to a breaking point or having some life-changing personal experience. I mean, it can be, but why? Rather, it is about always wanting to operate at that level. To push through the goop and discomfort to go straight to love. That’s right. Love. That’s what comes out of these kinds of conversations and connections. You know what else does? Unity. And those two elements, when introduced, become a circular reference back to one another. That is a truly beautiful thing.
The last bit I want to leave you with? I felt hopeful listening to them. Not fake hashtag hopeful. The real deal. I felt like if The Warriors could get there, and they could each take some with them, we are well on our way to moving this whole healing business along.
Use children as an example. Teach children. Have faith that educated children will be brave, be uncomfortable, and be activists. I don’t mean one-size-fits-all education. I mean figure it out because they will change the world without even really trying. Holy shit, amiright?
Talk to you Monday. Good weekend all.
L.
thepathtoworthy.com 