When I first met my current boss he told me that outside of all other qualities, there was one that he considered to be most important in evaluating an employee, accountability. This might be why we’ve been a good pair for the last decade, as accountability is hugely important to me as well. I believe in answerability in a professional setting, as well as personally. This is challenging lately because there is a whole lot of skirting responsibility in the world going on.
Rather than owning anything, it seems as though we are attending some massive finger-pointing party. It’s like a giant game of musical chairs that’s gotten next-level aggressive and everyone is waiting to see who drops on their ass next. Sad. Unfortunate. Unnecessary. Here is a truth that no one wants to face: we are all a little or a lot responsible. We are responsible for ourselves and each other, and some of us are responsible for others (guardians, parents, etc.). To look at the state of the world and disclaim any part is ignorance and foolishness. Worse, it makes it so that change occurs at a glacial pace, if at all.
I’ve really been trying to understand this outside of just the regular ol’, no one wants to be the one who owns anything. Meaning, no one wants to be left holding the bag. It’s so much more than the folks who are remaining quiet in the face of disquiet or injustice or craziness. I am referring to folks who fight tooth and nail to disprove that a “problem” even exists. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?
If the world is in a tizzy about police brutality, it is essential to post videos showing injustice against police officers. If the world is pointing to systemic and pervasive racism, it is critical to show videos and post articles addressing folks of color who have committed crimes or acted violently. If you dare to discuss reproductive rights (forgetting the staunchly religious), you are presented with arguments about birth control incentivizing children to be sexually active or women who use abortion as birth control. It you decry the latest revoking of environmental laws, someone will ask you who is protecting the rights of the farmers, builders, and miners. You get the point, right?
I am not just talking about people presenting their respective opinion or point of view. I am talking about taking action and making statements in order to punt on any particular issue.
I think I need to first explain what I believe to be the difference between those finely nuanced points or approaches. First things first, you can disagree with a statement or a perspective or the importance of such, without disclaiming its validity. When you challenge the legitimacy of an idea or a problem, you’ve crossed that line I’m speaking of. When you acknowledge the problem, own your part (if any), and present a solution that you believe in…you’re on the right side of awesome.
How?
Well, let’s just pick the most controversial topic around right now, police brutality. I was having a conversation with someone who told me that the majority of police officers are bad news and the only solution was to fire them all and start over (paraphrasing but that’s the gist). I explained that I didn’t think the majority were bad, rather, I believe there are some bad apples and a cultural problem. Meaning, there is a culture of protection rather than accountability (wow, we are really getting around with that concept, huh?). I suggested that if the culture was addressed in a more global fashion, perhaps it would provide an opportunity to more accurately identify where changes are required, on an individual and group level. I had a passionate discussion with this person, but it remained respectful and productive. We each presented a differing point of view and solution without disclaiming the underlying problem.
Of course, there are going to be those issues where folks feel as if they absolutely do not exist, but I find this occasion rarer. Still, the rebuttal to those arguments or way to address such situations is through education (and lots and lots of patience).
When we outright deny issues in order to avoid the ‘other side’ prevailing, we’ve lost a little something in the process. You can acknowledge an issue and supply a suggested solution without having to refute it altogether. I promise you that. The brilliant part of this approach is that it forces us to be accountable when it comes to the solution of challenges we face day-to-day. It also allows us to find our place in the solution, even if that place is silence. Huh? Yeah, silence. Sometimes when we aren’t fighting or denying something, that’s enough to help support forward movement. Accountability can be as simple as the act of understanding that our words and actions mean something, so remaining quiet in the face of injustice if our words are not helpful, can also be a blessing of sorts.
I believe things can change. I believe people can change. I believe change requires accountability and education. Without those two things, we are lost. We need to own how we participate in the grand scheme of an issue and how what we do really does matter. We need to educate ourselves and others such that our opinions are informed and supported by a rational and reasonable basis.
This isn’t as easy as it sounds. I’m admitting that because it is something I’ve certainly struggled with before (and will again). We believe something sometimes because our gut tells us it’s the right thing to believe. Sometimes the people who are dearest to us believe it. Sometimes we are propelled by our religion or cultural values. There are so many reasons why we believe what we do and the hardest task we can take on is shifting that comfortable and familiar paradigm. I mean, if you make the shift because you recognize the inappropriateness or inaccuracy in your belief model, I think that’s great. If you are shifting because you want to modify rather than scrapping altogether, that’s also brilliant.
We can just constantly spew what we hold as our truths or we can make a commitment to overarching accountability. We can decide that it doesn’t weaken us to allow for other points of view. It doesn’t diminish us to give up a part of what we’ve believed to expand our world a little. Changing is not weakness. Allowing for a different standpoint is not you being soft. It’s you being wise and great and kind and goddamn accountable. We have to leave lots of room if we want things to grow. Not just consider it but protect it. Leave that room. Let it fill when the time is right.
Talk to you tomorrow.
L.
thepathtoworthy.com 