Days 113-115.

Is there any personality more infuriating than the non-performer? I mean sure, there’s a few. But really, non-performers are absolutely exhausting and well, enraging. The thing with non-performers is that it doesn’t really matter why they don’t perform. Their intention or reasoning doesn’t factor into my frustration. Why? Well, because I am not talking about the quality of someone’s performance. I am simply referring to the act itself.

Whenever we talk about new employees at my firm, I will often say that I am more taken with and drawn to a hard worker than I am a skilled or smart worker (if I have to choose and sadly, I often have to choose). Why? Well you can usually teach someone how to do something if you are patient enough and understand what needs to be conveyed. You can also determine that someone isn’t meant for a particular role and reallocate them appropriately based on their particular skill set. Folks who are innately non-performers or lazy workers? Often a lost cause. You can try and motivate with incentives or threaten, but that is often a pointless exercise. That has been my experience at least.

A good friend recently asked me how I motivate myself when I’m feeling unmotivated. I replied that I don’t really have a method. I wasn’t being glib or dismissive. It was the honest truth. I just dig deep within myself and find what I need to move forward. The irony is that the person who asked me this question is absolutely the furthest thing from lazy. I know this from personal experience and knowledge but also because they felt compelled to ask the question. Someone who is not a hard worker or who is a non-performer wouldn’t bother asking how to motivate. They would just swim in a pool of lazy contentment. You see what I mean?

There are so many different kinds of non-performers and quite frankly, I’m not okay with any of them. The non-performer that I’ve had the most difficulty with personally and professionally, is the selective non-performer. What I mean by that is a person who clearly performs in certain areas of their life and then mails it in for other areas. Again, there are a million reasons why that situation might exist. Perhaps they feel more compelled in one area of life versus another. Perhaps they only perform when they are held accountable Whatever the reason, they pick and choose the situations where they step up. Blech. No thank you.

In all aspects of my life I’ve learned that it is very hard to reform a non-performer. You can offer threats or incentives to motivate and sometimes that proves useful, but generally, you will spin yourself into no-man’s land trying to figure out how to get someone to give a shit and give something a smidgen more effort.

Great, so what’s this post really about?

Well, I had to learn the hard way to not be triggered by non-performers. How to not be taken advantage of by a non-performer. How to step back, step away from a non-performer. This is no easy task, not in a professional setting or personally.

I’m going to start with the personal situations because shockingly those are a lot easier to manage. You have more freedom in your personal life (often) so it is easier to make good decisions or navigate appropriately. I’ve made the mistake of allowing non-performers to hang around way longer than I should have. What do I mean by that? Well, we all know relationships take work, right? They do. A lot of work. The good ones anyway. If someone is not putting in the work, they should be called out. If they are mailing it in, they should be given an ultimatum. Yes, I really mean that. I mean, if I were being super harsh I would tell you that ultimatums don’t usually work either and you should just dump their lazy ass. BUT, if you want to give it a spin, sometimes lighting a fire changes things around. Just be prepared for things to slip once you aren’t standing over that person making demands. Why do you want to be with someone who has no desire to even try to give you what you need and want? I mean really. Give me ONE good reason for that. Don’t tell me that you are complacent or comfortable. That’s bullshit. Staying with someone who is not what you need or want is uncomfortable. You are just settling. That’s really silly (and harmful, and feels crappy, and so on and so forth).

A professional non-performer can be a lot more challenging. Even if you are managing someone, you might not have the freedom to manage them or handle them the way that you would wish to. If you don’t manage them, you might not be able to avoid working with them. I’ve really struggled with this. I’ve managed non-performers and worked with a ton of them. They have some other names, right? Punters for one. This is what I’ve found works the best for ME. You have to feel it out and see what is best for YOU. I let go of my ego. Then I strip responsibilities, sideline, disengage, segregate, and take them seriously and not personally.

I try not to get caught up in the fact that they are lazy and I work my ass off. When I do (and I DO), I tend to unravel. It feels so unjust, particularly when those folks are in a higher compensation bracket. When someone I have control over is not doing what they should, I strip away those tasks where I feel like they are failing. I advise them that I am stripping responsibilities for that reason. Ironically, even the laziest person doesn’t like to hear that. When I work side by side with someone like that, I might remove responsibilities if in a project management scenario where I have the authority. Sometimes I can speak to a manager and make sure that responsibilities are properly identified and segregated such that I do not become responsible for that person’s work and if I do, I am given proper credit. Sometimes none of this works, hence me advising that this is the harder category. In those instances, I chill out. I breathe. I try not to get crazy. I do get crazy but then I try and calm myself down. I don’t confide in people anymore because I find that people telling me to relax makes me more irate and grumpy, particularly when they are someone who gets riled up in just the same fashion. I just tell myself that I am the only one getting crazy. I am harming MYSELF. For no good goddamn reason. Sure, they are lazy and getting paid a ton and getting away with it. But you know what? Nothing is going to change that sometimes and the best thing I can do is worry about me. You know what I mean?

Don’t let a non-performer affect your performance. Don’t stoop. Don’t treat them as they treat you. Don’t work in the way they work. Keep your head high. Demand more. Give more. Do more. Keep yourself in check. Let them flounder. Sad for them. Fine for you. Sometimes it feels like the universe is playing a joke on you. You can feel like shit or fake a laugh until it feels less painful.

Just saying.

Talk to you Monday. Have a great weekend.

L.