The next week and a half are going to be filled with the topic of self-love. If you have an aversion to such things (let’s work on that?), I am advising you of this so you have a chance to press pause if you want to…just a pause. If you don’t feel ready to do THIS work, then I am forewarning you so that you can skip for now and come back when you are ready. Please do come back. Or even better, try it out now and then come back again to see what was invisible or inaccessible before.
The thing is, I am going to give you an entire week off after this self-love fest, so you will have ample time to breathe, contemplate, rail, and most importantly, self-examine. I am taking a break that last week in September (the 28th through October 2nd) and so, you too will have a pause.
I am going to invite you to use that time wisely. Rather than an interruption where you take a step back from personal evolution, I am inviting you to use that time to focus more intensely on your growth.
The timing is rather apropos as we are heading into a transitional season. Some folks only love the pumpkin spiciness of the fall and could do without the rest. I love EVERY. SINGLE. BIT. I love the chill in the air, the warmth in the colors and flavors, and most of all, I love how the season signals the ending that precedes the new beginning. I know this is going to sound a bit hokey, but so far as I’m concerned, the fall and winter are a chance for you to gather your thoughts, get your shit together, make some decisions, come up with a plan of attack, and start over.
I want to acknowledge that for some, perhaps you, this time of year is incredibly difficult. We have less daylight and colder weather (generally) and that can bring with it feelings of depression and disconnection. On top of all of that, this year we are also moving into a season where the stakes are higher and the uncertainty of things are fostering more significant levels of anxiety. I am not discrediting or diminishing those feelings in any way. In fact, some are better off seeking professional help to contend with those kinds of emotions, and I am here for it. I am simply highlighting a silver lining, a possibility. Each of us, if our psyche and emotional stability allow it, can use this transitional time of year to make a shift in us and in the way we are living our lives.
Outside of the symbolism attached to this time of year, there are other reasons why it’s a good time to do a self-directed deep dive (or deep cleaning, if you will). In the cooler weather, we find ourselves indoors more.
Please note that I am not going to get into the specifics regarding COVID and what that means for this upcoming season. Mostly because I don’t have a crystal ball and we are all going to watch that movie when it’s released in real time. I promise to tackle it if/when it starts to crystallize and take real shape.
Okay, sidebar over for now.
I lurve a good chilly walk or run, but generally, the cooler temps find us hunkered down at home. This means that we are either spending a good deal of time solo (moi) or a substantial amount of time in close quarters with our loved ones (you?). In the context of COVID, I recently talked about what may arise as a result of relationships put to the close-quarters test. That’s not really what I am tackling here. The only point I want to make with respect to this topic is that while we don’t have to, we can use this time to take stock. We can use the time to examine our behavior when we are alone and how we act with others (those within our home and outside of it). The world provides noise, color, context, and distraction. When we are home, voluntarily or otherwise, we can more easily block everything else out to see US. Ourselves.
I want to throw a little further explanation in here so we are definitely on the same page. When I am busy, I feel happy. Therefore, I think of myself as happy. Then life slows down. I am not surrounded by as many people, I don’t have as many places to run to, and suddenly, things feel a little less happy. Not sad. Not tragic. I just have the opportunity to ask myself whether my happiness is reality or a construct supported by the ability to be out and about. Yes, you can 100% choose not to lean in at this juncture. You can take your happiness for what it is and pray for time to move as quickly as possible. Before you make that decision, I just want to remind you that examining your happiness is not the same as choosing unhappiness. Not even close. In fact, I’ve found that taking a closer look at your joy and what fuels it can actually bring you far closer to it than you’ve ever been before. And failing to investigate and observe can eventually leave you feeling wanting. Oh, and tired. The act of feigning happiness or running to catch happiness is mentally and emotionally exhausting.
I’ve sort of made my case here or at least I’ve tried to. I can’t force you one way or the other but I can give you all the encouragement in the world. I can tell you that a life thoughtfully lived is better lived. I can tell you that all the times in my life I chose to step away from the exploration, I’ve found myself deeply rooted in unhappiness or at least dissatisfaction.
Like anything else we talk about in this space, this journey requires work and so, you have to be decidedly committed. There is no half-assing this. You have to be all in. As I said earlier (remember?), you can choose to wait until you feel more ready, but make it a pause or a delay, not a hard stop. I know, I’m being a bit pushy, but I feel really strongly about this. This is the stuff. This is where the rubber meets the road. These are the tests that we have to face and this is when we decide just how hard we are going to work to find joyfulness. Anyone that tells you that it’s easy is lying or deluding themselves. It takes work, but it’s so damn good when you get there, the work is unquestionably worth it.
Ask yourself how ready you are to be happy. Ask yourself if you are too attached to your unhappiness to move through it right now (been there). Ask yourself if you can imagine future days where you aren’t living a life true to who you are. If you are in it, meet me back here tomorrow. We have one week before fall officially arrives. I like my PSL with a healthy shake of cinnamon and a hearty side of personal progress. What about you?
If you are in this, let’s meet back here tomorrow, okay?
L.
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