The next fact is going to throw you a bit. It’s unusual that it would be included on a list of facts about RBG but I’m hoping I can make it make sense for you.
Here it is—fact #3- “she had a history of health concerns.”
Okay. Sad. Relevance?
I thought to explain with a more general statement but that feels impersonal and accusatory. So, I’m going to lead with me. I’ve felt sorry for myself from time to time. I’ve felt overwhelmed from time to time. I’ve set aside tasks and projects I’ve been working on from time to time because of obstacles or distractions. I’ve given myself a pass. Even when I didn’t need one. Even when I didn’t deserve one.
Why? Because I could. And when most of us can, we do. It’s kind of like when you have an extra ten minutes to get ready in the morning and you still run late. Why? Because when we have an opening, an out, we take it. That’s just how human nature generally works.
More time to fuck off? Sure. Push off until tomorrow what you can do today? Why not?
Are you with me? You don’t have to admit it to anyone else, but I find it refreshingly freeing to be honest with myself. The thing is even though I’m committed to seeing most things through, I too have those things I short cut and compromise on. I still find excuses when it comes to some things, mostly letting go things (as you should know by now). I find that where I’m concerned, I pause on the things that scare the shit out of me. Well, some of it. I’ll hike my way through the Swiss Alps but removing myself from a toxic relationship feels like an unnecessary burden. I am just sharing this so you understand that avoidance comes in all different forms.
So, imagine a human contending with obstacles that are mental, emotional, and physical. Imagine having the weight of the world on your shoulders and moving through things with that burden, but then also carrying the burden of actual ailments. Physical challenges, anomalies, illnesses. Imagine that human deciding that those struggles, those real, hard, brutal struggles, would not be THE reason. They would not be THE excuse. They would not be THE default. Imagine that human saying ‘fuck it’ and deciding that the important stuff would need to happen despite it all. Can you?
That was RBG. She was sick. Her husband was gravely ill for a long time. It didn’t stop her. Not ever. She figured it out. She didn’t make it a thing. It didn’t define her. It wasn’t her story, her narrative, her obstacle, her stopping point.
How often do we run into something on the path that we decide will tank us? How common is it for us to feel tired? We say it all the damn time, don’t we? I do. Someone asks how we are and we say ‘okay, but I’m tired.’ We make our exhaustion a point of discussion. We make it someone else’s problem. We use being tired as a part of our set design. It’s a disclaimer.
I might be bigger and better and more effective, if only I didn’t feel so tired. I might contribute more meaningfully, if only I didn’t feel so fatigued. I might have done that thing, if only I didn’t need to attempt to catch up on sleep that would never actually happen.
Come on. Don’t fucking tell me you haven’t been that person. I know you have. I have. And yes, you have good reason to be tired. Maybe you are a kick ass employee, a super parent, a caretaker. Maybe you are a supportive significant other, a dedicated exerciser. Maybe you are all those things and more and maybe that is reserving you a first-class seat on the struggle bus.
What if we could feel all of the exhaustion and frustration and all the things and then still, set it aside to do the damn thing? What if we could all be a little bit more like RBG? What if we could make sure that our problems are only our problems? What if those problems didn’t fuck our goals and dreams and aspirations? What if they were just facts? What if we too could make those bits of us more the periphery and less the main attraction? What if we decided that the things we wanted to do in this world were so important that we couldn’t afford to side step them? What if those extra ten minutes were the difference between making a real impact and just skimming the surface?
I am not saying you can’t have a day or a week or a month. I’ve talked about this before. We are all entitled to feel a little shitty. We are all entitled to a little pity party. We are all entitled to have a day or so where we struggle with our ‘to do’ list. It’s a very real thing. It’s human. It’s necessary.
In fact, I am almost positive that even though I didn’t know about it, RBG had her days. She had days where she felt a little less like being the champion for women and people of color and folks of different gender and sexual orientation. But she didn’t make it known. Not to most of us. Maybe to her most special people. Those she held closest to her heart. But she didn’t make it a big thing. A thing to be known about her.
When they challenged her to retire, to give into her illness and the alarming rate at which the world is turning scary and twisty, she passed. She took the hard road, every time. She wished for hope. Imagine that. With all the shit on her plate, she wished that people would care more. That the people who didn’t seem to care would be tempered and delayed and moved out of the spaces they reside in, the places of power.
Every time I saw one of those posters or t-shirts or pins that read ‘please vote, RBG is tired’ I giggled. Not because I didn’t take the sentiment seriously. Not because I didn’t think that she deserved a goddamn break. Because I never associated that dynamic firecracker with exhaustion. She must have been tired. Tired from illness. Tired from fighting. Tired from working. Tired from hatred. Tired from discrimination. Tired from opposition. Tired from criticism. But you would never know it. She just threw on a jazzy collar and got shit done.
That’s my kind of woman.
More tomorrow.
L.
thepathtoworthy.com 