This topic is coming to a close, which feels apropos today of all days, as Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg lies in state. If I’m honest, I’m a little sad. I don’t know if you’ve enjoyed this week, but I have. I attempted this week to write the most epic love letter to a woman who I deeply admired. My deepest wish when crafting these posts was to celebrate those certain things that made her who she was and who we knew her to be. Strong, powerful, passionate, relentless, brilliant, and courageous.
I recognize that all week I told you that each fact was one of my favorites. I know it. I was that person. Super fucking dramatic. But that’s okay. If ever a human inspired fan-girling in the most insane way, it was Justice Ginsberg. She was a miniature giant. A world-changing superhero. And for that, I will continue to celebrate her contributions and legacy long after I hit publish on this post.
So, please forgive me as I move onto the next ‘best’ fact about this woman who changed so many lives during her 87 years on this planet. Thank you again to Aljazeera for the inspiration. Okay, Fact #5- “She was close friends with the most conservative justice.”
Despite being at opposite ends of the ideological spectrum, Justices Antonin Scalia and Ruth Bader Ginsberg were known to be close friends. Justice Scalia was staunchly conservative where Justice Ginsberg was steadfastly liberal. And yet, that didn’t seem to get in the way of their years-long friendship.
Imagine that? Imagine two people that were at polar opposite ends of the universe and rather than tearing each other down, they were able to appreciate the intelligence and dedication in one another. Imagine being able to agree to disagree. Imagine holding respect for another human even though you were often opposing each other in a professional setting.
I’ve talked about this subject before but I would argue that it bears repeating, particularly at this time. There is so much about the world right now that is troubling to me. Yes, I would be labeled as liberal with respect to my political and social beliefs. So yes, there is a certain direction that our country might be traveling in that scares the ever-living shit out of me. But that’s not the scariest bit. What is most upsetting for me is the apparent lack of civility that is rampant and pervasive. We have seemingly lost the ability to be respectful of those who do not exactly align with every one of our views and beliefs.
I don’t think this interruption or disclaimer is necessary per se but I am going to throw it in here just in case. I cannot bring myself to support (in any real meaningful way) someone who has a belief system, supports candidates, or acts in a way that is detrimental to other humans. I may not have the desire to engage in verbal combat with that person, but I also don’t need to swing to the other end, and become their bff.
Well, to be clear, I am working on myself and when and how I express myself in situations where I find someone to be ignorant, hateful, and/or closeminded. I am trying to sort out what it looks like to be an advocate or an anti-racist, rather than a silent witness. If I happen to be around when someone is spewing out hateful ignorant garbage, I am trying to work through how I can speak out against such sentiments without putting myself in danger or spinning my wheels. We good?
Okay, so back to my point from before. Just a difference of opinion would not lead me to walk away from someone. I have the ability to listen to folks with an open mind and heart and truly exercise the ‘you do you’ philosophy. But, that’s me. Everywhere I look these days, there are people on both sides of the fence that seem incapable of acting respectfully and kindly. They can’t figure out how to engage in a way that leaves room for different beliefs and priorities and perspectives. So, if they can’t figure out to be basically civil, is there any chance in hell that they will become friends?
Likely not. That’s the sad reality.
Friendship is more than just tolerating another human’s feelings and thoughts. Friendship is accepting that human regardless of such. Friendship is not liking someone’s message but respecting the reason why they have such a message and well, their brain. It’s a connection that exists above and beyond being able to check all the same boxes on a ‘likes’ survey.
What’s really lovely about a situation that is just like the friendship that Justice Ginsberg and Justice Scalia enjoyed, is that it was the purest example of a human being more than the sum of their parts. Each he and she were willing to admit that their liberal or conversative views were profound and impactful, but not ‘it’ where their lives and contributions were to be considered. They acknowledged the complexity of each other. The intelligence and depth. They didn’t agree with each other, but they deeply respected that the other had a definitive point of view.
I have friends who I don’t align with on every point. I have friends who are far more conservative than I am, and a handful that are far more liberal. I admit that I’ve struggled over the last few months with those individuals who are further away from me in terms of where they fall politically. Our society is so polarized right now that it’s difficult to find a peaceful space in the middle. But I try. All the time. I haven’t resigned myself to just jumping onto one side and abandoning the other altogether.
Outside of just respecting a different stance, I can easily circle back to the tough questions discussion from the other day. When you are friends or associate with folks who don’t agree with you, it is possible that you will be challenged in a way that allows for a strengthening of your position. That’s a pretty fantastic benefit. I don’t mean having all out wars or debates where everyone is left feeling beleaguered and worn-out when all is said and done. I mean having meaningful and kind conversations where each human is given the space and respect to hear each other out. It is that simple. And sometimes, you might even feel compelled to change your thoughts and feelings. I know, horrifying, but when you get over yourself, you might realize that it’s actually a good thing. The flexibility it requires to hear someone out and consider moving to their view, is incredibly valuable and will serve you in many different aspects of life, personally and professionally.
And that’s all my friends. I mean, that’s not all. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg was a tremendous human. So many of us are forever in her debt for the spectacular courage she exhibited. I will consider her contributions and bravery and intelligence for years to come. Likely, for the rest of my life. This week-long tribute was just a drop in the bucket, but one I felt necessary.
May she rest in peace and power.
Have a good weekend/week. Talk soon.
L.
thepathtoworthy.com 