The song I’m going to talk about today is perhaps my favorite song on the album. It didn’t just feel like a song for me. It felt like an anthem. It felt like a calling card. It felt like an invitation to sing and dance and celebrate all the surviving I’ve done over the last 40 years on this planet. Let me share these special lyrics with you and then we can go from there, okay?
“Resilient”
‘Cause I died every winter
But survived all the weather
Look at me now, look at me now
I’m in full bloom, yeah
They tried to poison the water
But I was a little stronger
Look at me now, look at me now
I light up the room, oh yeah
‘Cause I am resilient
A full flower moment
Won’t let the concrete hold me back, oh yeah
I am resilient
Born to be brilliant
I’m gonna grow right through the cracks
I want to start with the very first line of the stanza I just shared because why the fuck not, right? I love this because it gets right to the heart of this entire journey that I’ve been trying in earnest to share with you. “I died every winter…” I made mistakes over and over again. I knew things and then unlearned them and then wised up again. I took two steps forward and three steps back and five steps forward. You get it, right? This idea that we aren’t meant to learn things once and be golden forever. Sometimes we have to relearn things because the circumstances or people have changed and it’s thrown us off of our game. Sometimes we have to because we’ve just let ourselves slip back into bad habits. Sometimes our learning curve grows shorter and sometimes it needs to hover in place before it can decrease over time.
The very first lesson that we need to embrace if we want to stay on the path to worthy is that we will trip up. Over and over again. This is not a reason to sabotage or give up on ourselves. We just have to brush ourselves off and start down the path again. I mean, come on, I never said it was going to be easy.
Sometimes we have to face certain challenges over and over again because we got it but we didn’t REALLY GET IT. Ha. Do you know what I mean by that? We surface level accepted some reality. We can regurgitate our brilliance to the people we intend on sharing it with (the famous explanation or disclaimer) but it doesn’t go more than skin deep. And when our knowledge or feelings float on that level, we have difficulty applying them in other situations or maintaining our position over time. Our resolve weakens. We falter. We forget. All of that is okay. The real trick is getting there eventually. At some point understanding things in a way where they become more everlasting and truly meaningful.
But this song isn’t just about lessons that we have to revisit. It is about resiliency. It is about how we rise up out of struggle. How we emerge from the rubble. What we look like when we finally get it. It is about understanding that it is not just us that we have to battle against. It is not just a fight against our own will and insecurities. We will come up against external obstacles, people and things, that will test us at our very core. Our belief system will be tested to its max.
I want to give you just a few examples of what I’m talking about so you can more easily recognize it when it comes your way. Some of you already know but I don’t think there’s any harm in reconsidering or reviewing.
Sometimes obstacles will present in the form of people just doing what works for them with no thought as to how it impacts you at all. I was chatting with a friend today and telling him that I have found I am moving away from friendships where I am always the one putting in the work. I don’t mind being the one who mostly does the work but I had grown tired of always being the person. The force. Also in that bucket? People who squeeze me around their preset schedule based on what’s most convenient for them. I’m not talking about getting together when they are free. I’m saying they lay down all the things and people that are priorities and ask me to squish myself into one of the remaining slots. There is nothing really wrong with this, except that with some folks, I’ve grown tired of always doing that. It’s that simple. The action of fitting their whims and desires used to not bother me at all and now it does. That’s an obstacle for me because I am presented with the notion of doing work to put myself first. It feels uncomfortable and selfish but I know that certain occasions call for such a reaction.
Sometimes obstacles will present in the form of folks who are legitimately working as saboteurs. Your progress in _______ (fill in the blank) doesn’t serve them and so they decide to work against whatever it is you are trying to accomplish. They put down your professional aspirations, tempt you away from a diet, or speak negatively about something you’ve decided you are passionate about. This can be done in an overt fashion but I’ve found more often than not, it’s very subtle. Little itty bitty put downs. Teensy weensy suggestions. Massive aftershock.
Other obstacles? New bosses. Pandemics. Weather. Injury (emotional or physical).
You can work to change all of these things or any of these things and I hate to be a Debbie downer here, but I highly doubt you will be successful in your efforts. If I had to hazard a guess, you are going to end up exhausted and sorely disappointed. So, instead of spending your energy on trying to move mountains, what if you took that effort and dumped it into your own development? In keeping with the theme of the song, you can keep butting your pretty lil flower head against concrete, or you can swim around until you find an opening and bust your way straight through. The awesome part about that is once you’ve created the opening, the opportunity, the soil is loosened and the concrete has parted, and it gets easier every damn time.
Chin up. Stay strong. Expect regression. Look for the light.
L.
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