I saw this great gif lately that spoke to everyone’s ability to let their resting bitch faces rest because of masks. I know that might feel in poor taste to you, but I’m not ashamed to tell you that I definitely laughed out loud on that one. The thing is, you can generally tell whether someone is happy or sad or confused or angry. It’s the eyes people. You can tell in a reasonable fashion (with some folks and not all) what emotions someone is trying to express, even with half their face covered. I can also generally tell if someone is trying to mask their emotions (no pun intended). What is kind of amazing about the whole thing is that I find it easier to tell if someone is basically faking it or mailing it in.
It is easier to be fooled when someone flashes us a great big smile. Many of us don’t scan the rest of the face to see if it matches up to those pearly whites. Are inner good guy/girl wants to believe that what someone is showing us is legit and so we go with what we are shown. You are smiling? Cool, that means you are happy. I know, huge generalization but I’ve found that this is the way things work.
You want a picture to look like everything is all good? Demand a smile. Want to convey a joy of customer service? Smile. Want to pretend like everything is a-ok with another human? SMILE!
I feel like I don’t need to formally introduce the next (and last) song because I’ve already set it up like a champ. Anyway, here goes:
“Smile”
Every day, Groundhog Day
Goin’ through motions felt so fake
Not myself, not my best
Felt like I failed the test
But every tear has been a lesson
Rejection can be God’s protection
Long hard road to get that redemption
But no shortcuts to a blessin’
Yeah, I’m thankful
Scratch that, baby, I’m grateful
Gotta say it’s really been a while
But now I got back that smile
Does anyone else want to vomit a little when you read the words Groundhog Day? I know that your life might be different than mine, but I can tell you that many of my days feel like I am stuck on repeat lately. Work out, work, sleep. Wake up, workout, work, sleep. Sure, I have great little social moments sprinkled in, but far less than ever before and so the perpetual and repetitive nature of these days seems far more evident. Of course, the joke is that all of this is sort of the joy and pain of being an adult, but we’ll save that somber point for another time. The point I’m trying to focus on is that where I’m concerned, I’ve had greater difficulty adding the faking of emotions to this merry-go-round lately.
I’m not suggesting that I was ever comfortable with or interested in mailing it in. Not even a little. I’m just saying that there is a little bit of bs that goes along with the whole charade of every day life. We smile to suggest that things are all good and no further discussion is required. We smile to appease. We smile to appeal. We smile to put off. What we don’t often do is ask ourselves whether we really feel that smile. We don’t take the time to explore whether we are really happy and whether that smile comes easily to us and reaches our eyes.
I’ve had friends tell me that they are so happy as they cry or keep pained expressions on their faces. I’ve witnessed smiles that don’t at all match the story I’ve been told or understanding I have.
When we get stuck in a cycle of feigning happiness or slapping a smile on our faces to send a particular message, it is challenging to get to the feeling of true happiness within us. Like even when we think we are happy, it’s a struggle to know what REAL joy feels like. That’s when you’ll hear people say that they think they are happy or they are happy enough. There are caveats surrounding the happiness disclosure. It is not offered readily or freely. There is a guardedness that exists. I’m here to tell you that what I’ve found is that more often than not, that reservation or hesitation is there because they have lost the ability to know the real deal from the fake shit they show the world.
How does one figure out what happiness is? How do we get back to the real smile? Well, we let our resting bitch faces rest. WHAT?! Yes. We let ourselves experience emotions without attaching an expectation to them. In some ways, this is the perfect time to do what I’m suggesting. You are wearing a mask (sorry but you better be wearing a mask or stay away from me, and everyone else for that matter) and the reading of a face aside, you can allow yourself to just feel what you are feeling.
We are somewhat separated right now and that enables you to take some time to ask yourself what makes you feel joyful. Not what you THINK should bring you happiness, but what actually does. Who brings you happiness.
I’ve had women tell me that 5” high heels make them feel fabulous. Awesome. I would actually want to throw myself into oncoming traffic if I were forced to wear such torture devices on my feet but I can appreciate that for some folks, they either don’t experience the discomfort or they are willing to give up the comfort for the other benefits it affords them (i.e. feeling sexy, getting height, etc.). If I told you that I was happy wearing super high heels, I’d be lying. Lying to you and deceiving myself. This is a very silly example but a powerful one nonetheless. There is a whole faction of women in the world who don’t even know if their footwear brings them joy because they are so used to selling a line about the whole situation.
Guess what gals? I can’t imagine you have a myriad of places to wear your super high heels right now (unless they are bedroom play and then go for it…you only have to walk like ten steps max). So, figure out what makes those tootsies happy. Start small and go big.
Start with your toes and slowly get to your heart.
You can do it.
Have an awesome weekend. Full of smiles or frowns or whatever the fuck you need right now.
Talk to you next week. x
L.
thepathtoworthy.com 