Do you set your mind to something and then immediately regret your decision and/or have difficulty with the follow through? I mean you probably do, right? We all do, on some level. It may not be major regret or struggle bus material, but the resistance is there. There are so many reasons for this, many of which we’ve touched on and continue to discuss.
I think that most of the reasons have some fear component tied in. Fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of change. I know that fear has paralyzed me on many an occasion in my life. I do something and then I feel that tug in my belly that tells me to take it back or soften it somehow.
That’s starting to shift in me though and the transformation, while also scary, is a relief.
Fear has always been this sort of insurmountable hill in my life. I feel good when I’m starting out. Plenty of water, snacks, legs are nice and stretched. Half way up, I feel like I’m seriously underestimated my ability to get all the way up. I thought it was a reasonable distance, and the summit keeps moving. My water disappears, my snacks are eaten, and my legs are pulsing from the effort. I give myself these little motivational pep talks. Atta girl. You can do it. Almost there. But nope, I can’t, and not really.
It feels so shitty. The worst. At some point, I have to sit down and reconsider my options. This is usually the point where I fold. I rethink things and decide that maybe TODAY isn’t the day to get to the top. Maybe I’ll just try another day when I feel better equipped. That seems like a better idea, no?
And then one day, not so long ago, I realized that I couldn’t keep punting. Like any serious endeavor, I had to train differently. I had to look at my preparation anew.
When I started running I could barely run a mile straight. Who am I kidding? I couldn’t. Not barely. Just not. I did this lame ass like jog/walk thing for a long time. It wasn’t lame because jog/walks are lame. To the contrary. I still use that exact type of training today. It was sort of pathetic because I had no plan. It wasn’t like a couch to 5K sort of magic. I just moved my legs quickly (relatively speaking) until I felt tired and winded and then I moved them slower. I was reactive, not proactive. This should not come as a surprise to anyone who has been around here for some time, as that is a theme I’ve clung to from time to time (to time, to time, to time…).
I was so fucking pissed that I couldn’t run like everyone else around me at the gym. I didn’t aspire to the folks running 7 or 8 miles per hour. I literally just wanted to get on the treadmill and move above 4 miles per hour for ten minutes straight. That was my goal. Somewhere deep inside of me I knew that there was no way I was achieving that goal at the gym. Although there was inspiration all around me, there was also intimidation. I felt insecure and judged. Obviously, this is something I needed to work on and get over, but one step at a time, amiright?
So, I took to the streets. I stepped outside my front door and made a plan, as follows: I will run one block to ______ and then I will walk one block to __________. I will repeat said pattern for no less than twenty minutes. The next time I went out, I decided to run two blocks and then walk one block. You get the pattern, right? The thing is, I didn’t just increase every single time i went out. Nope. I gave myself some time in each section, save the very first. I let myself get a little more out of breath on my jog/run sections, knowing that I would eventually land on a walk section where I could breathe with ease again.
I feel like I might have shared this story with you, so apologies, but it’s an important one. Critical really. You know what I am about to say, right? It’s going to be cheesy as fuck and you might cringe. Sorry, not sorry. You have to walk before you run. You have to be mentally prepared to run. You have to be emotionally prepared to run.
What does that mean? Well for starters, you will have days of little to no progress. Stagnation can come from physical exhaustion, distractions, weather, interference (i.e. plans), or just a bad fucking day. That’s OKAY. No big deal. One must not be derailed by an off day or two, but should understand it for what it is; a day or two of rest and regrouping. Also, you have to commit to setting reasonable goals and celebrating milestones or smaller victories. The day I could run three blocks straight and forced myself to take that one block rest, I treated myself to a long ass bath. In the middle of the day. Booyah. Last, but not least, you have to understand that once you achieve your goal, you will likely want to set a bigger goal and the letdown feeling that accompanies goal achievement can be confusing.
I am not suggesting that you necessarily have all the tools today to fully prepare as I’ve described above, but just being conscious of these bits and pieces is a good place to start. Just know that the management of these elements will help prime you for success. There are no guarantees, at all, but just like a shiny new pair of sneakers will help you kick off your running hobby, so will emotional preparedness.
I know you are like ‘what the fuck…I don’t run.’ That’s okay because we both know this isn’t really about running, right? Scroll back up if need be.
This is about tackling fear in a way that best enables our success. I am going to directly tie these two together, but for now, ponder the running bit in a way that is meaningful for you. Maybe another physical endeavor? Perhaps musical inclinations or dancing? Maybe it is learning a new language or cooking? There are a million things that you might have set your mind to over time and I want that information set aside for now so we can call upon it tomorrow. Okay?
Talk to you then. Happy running/cooking/singing/dancing/lounging.
L.
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