Walter Reisch, a director, once said “Tired minds don’t plan well. Sleep first, plan later.” I would love to tell you that this isn’t true because of what an abysmally shitty sleeper I am, but it is. Sleep is critical for the body to function well. It allows for a very necessary reset.
When we are tired, we are often grumpy. Wretched. Irritable.
When we sleep, our body does really important things. Our brain uses rest as a time to create connections that help with retention of information. Want to remember something more easily? Take a nap. Too little sleep impacts the body’s immune system. You will be more likely to get sick if you haven’t caught some meaningful zzz’s in a while. Lack of sleep also contributes to weight gain. Not only do metabolic processes shift at night when we sleep, but there is also messaging that cycles through the brain when we don’t sleep. The brain yells at the body that something is awry and it might suggest that nutrition is the problem, thus incentivizing us to eat when we shouldn’t. Sleep deprivation can lead to high blood pressure, an impacted sex drive, and other issues that can materially impact a person and their relationships.
That all sounds pretty shitty, right? It is but the most important takeaway for me is that the less sleep I get, the more horrible I am. When I am exhausted I am overly emotional. Surly, weepy, and generally off my game. I am not the best sleeper in the world but when I don’t sleep at all, nothing good comes of that.
When I haven’t gotten great sleep, I’ve felt impaired when doing everyday normal shit (i.e. driving, exercising) but also, I’ve made some pretty bad decisions. I tend to be more impulsive when I’m exhausted because I don’t have the patience that effective problem solving requires.
I’ll bet you might be thinking the same thing I usually think when I read these types of ‘sleep more’ diatribes. Cool. Thank you. I know all of this, but I can’t fucking sleep. I get it and the truth is, outside of taking medication (which might be required at some point), it’s nothing that can really be forced. In fact, sleep is one of those things that sometimes the harder we push, the less we are able to get it done. Why? Well because we’ve infused the body with so much expectation laden stress, that the mind is too busy to allow for peaceful slumber.
I know you won’t want to hear this, but it also seems like an ideal time to mention to you that depression induced sleeping is not great for the body either. We can oversleep which makes us sluggish and creates its own set of obstacles and impairments. The body isn’t using rest in the way that it’s intended, but is rather responding to a rather monumental emotional issue or struggle. Thus, the rest is anything but satisfying and has its own negative results.
I know, even more challenges lumped on the proverbial pile. Sorry, not sorry. So yeah, you have to find some in between that works for you. I’m here to talk about what it’s like to figure out your ideal sleeping groove and also, a few tips to offer that might help you get the slumber you crave.
I have read my whole life that eight hours of sleep is ideal. That sounds lovely but that’s not a reality for me. Even when I’m exhausted and have no real reason to get up, my body will rarely allow me to knock out for eight hours. My sweet spot of optimal slumber is somewhere between six and seven hours, max. I figured that out through trial and error. You want to find something that ideally does not leave you feeling shitty and knackered when you get up in the morning, but also doesn’t give you that sleep hangover feeling that prevents anything productive from occurring during the day/night.
Much like parents do with children, you will have to play around with your sleep schedule to see what’s best for you. Don’t be afraid to try to lay down for bed an hour earlier or get up a little later. Make modifications to your schedule if you need to in order to accommodate.
There are a couple of strategies that I can offer you as one of the world’s worst sleepers. You ready? Well, the first comes from a fellow insomniac, my pops. The worst thing you can do when you are feeling restless or having trouble going to sleep is fuck with your sleeping spot (I will explain). The second worst thing you can do, which comes directly from me and like a bunch of other people, is turn on the television or social media/your telephone. When you continue to lay in bed but turn the lights back on, read, watch television etc., you are telling your brain that your bed is not the place for resting. The best thing you can do if you feel like you absolutely cannot sleep is get your ass outta bed and take your troubles to another spot.
We all know that screens are the devil when it comes to sleeping. Even if you find endlessly scrolling through Instagram relaxing, you’ve now turned your brain back on again. You’ve woken it up with information to process. Photos to look at, concepts to consider. Don’t even get me started if you are looking at information that is scary or thought provoking. You might be tempted but it is a bad idea. Trust me on this. You can read or peruse social media from bed, but let your brain know it’s not also sleepy time. Keep the lights on or keep yourself propped up. Stay active enough that it all makes sense on the inside.
Along the same lines, your bed or sleeping area should be sacred space. Use clean and comfortable bedding. I like a little lavender spray on the sheets. The smell is relaxing for me and just helps me decompress. I know this sounds silly and intuitive but it’s not. Comforter crummy, get a new one or patch it up. Mattress wretched, try for a fix or consider saving to make the investment. Position the bed so you don’t have a lot of light or distraction.
Acknowledge that your sleep time is just as important as anything else you do. Consider your sleep the same way you might a workout or work or an excursion. Make it a priority. Your significant other and you are on different sleep schedules? Compromise but not so much that you detrimentally impact your ability to sleep as you need to. Recognize that a good solid sleeping pattern will strengthen your relationship, not hurt it.
Don’t be afraid to count sheep (or to one hundred). Breathe deeply. A rested human is a happier human. Every time. All the time. Without question.
L.
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