Here is what I know, we can’t all determine how close we live to work. Thus, the idea that a shorter commute will bring about joy can be a little irksome for many of us. Like sure, I’d love to live closer to work, but I have the job I have and I live where I live. Maybe a shorter commute would be nice, but to live close to work is too expensive or just completely unrealistic.
I recognize that and so, I am going to go against the grain on this one and suggest that while a shorter commute might be delightful, it is also not achievable for most. Listen, if you have the choice, I would recommend the shorter commute. The truth is, even if you are able to make the most of the situation, you are still commuting, which does take a toll on the body. You are not in your work environment, you are not home, and when it comes to most commutes, you don’t have a good deal of control over what happens and that presents challenges all by itself (i.e. traffic, train cancellations, weather, etc.).
Like I said, many of us have to work where we work and we are bound to particular locales based on what we can afford, where our family or loved ones want or need to be, etc. So, how do we navigate around the unhappiness or stress that a commute can present? I mean, let’s be real, commutes can be really really shitty. My commute is fairly short, all things considered, and I am a miserable human when I have a wrench thrown into things. My twenty-five minutes of driving each way can be very elongated by an accident or inclement weather.
There are many folks who have to attend to certain responsibilities during their commute and that is unavoidable. Sometimes we have to work or pay attention to personal obligations, as that time is the only bit we have in which to accomplish these things. Again, that’s okay. The biggest takeaway from this diatribe is that I am not suggesting you feel stressed out or terrible about those challenges where you don’t have a choice. I’m merely throwing out there that you can employ certain techniques to make things a little more palatable.
I can tell you that I don’t remember the last time that I commuted without a curated play list or an audio book or a pod cast queued up. I know that I need something to listen to, something to escape into. Mind you, I’m driving so it’s important that I am listening to something that still gives me the opportunity to plug into the road, but there are so many freaking options out there. You can sort it out once you are in the middle of commuting, but I find that this often causes stress.
My ex was generally a shitty human except that he taught me the art of playing games on one’s phone during a train commute. I know, who needed someone to teach them this? Silly, but I was just never that person. I found most of the games to be trivial and not my cup of tea, well, until I was shown that there are like a billion out there. Maybe you are a chess or checkers person. Did you know that you can play that on your phone? You probably do and maybe you are getting a good chuckle from this right now. You can play a variety of games against the “computer” or you can rope in someone that you know who also likes to play and that adds a new dimension to things. I don’t think I’ll ever beat my dad at Words with Friends, but you bet your ass I’m trying.
Maybe you are thinking that you can’t really focus on drafting an email to your child’s teacher or editing a work document when you have a murder podcast blaring into your ears. I get it. Have you thought about maybe finding instrumental music that suits your fancy? You might not be a classical person (I am) but there are so many different versions of instrumental music to suit your taste or fancy. The best part is that while some are subscription based, there are a ton of free options too, so your financial situation doesn’t have to limit you. You might have to listen to a few commercials, but whatever, amiright?
I have a few friends who I know sleep on the train, or at least used to, and while I found myself nodding off from time to time, I generally didn’t prefer to snooze on the train for many, many reasons. Mostly because it didn’t feel super safe to me and then also, I found myself feeling groggy and shitty when I emerged from this little nap. You know what I did do on my train commute? I meditated. I know, you’ve heard enough of this meditation business, but it’s true. You can handle shit on your own by repeating a mantra or you can even download something onto your phone. Again, there are so many free options available via apps or YouTube.
Clearly, I shouldn’t do an eyes closed meditation while driving home (though sometimes I feel like I could), but I do absolutely listen to other meditations. I listen to music or speaking that has the effect of calming me down. It allows me to separate my work day from my evening so by the time I get home, I’m more chill. Sometimes it ramps me up for the day so I tend to feel calmer and more balanced before I walk into an environment that is consistently challenging for me.
There is so much that we cannot control about our commute but (you KNOW what I’m going to say here- sorry not sorry), we can control how we respond to everything that happens. Stuck in traffic? Blast your favorite song and sing out loud in the car. Train super packed? Listen to a travel pod cast and transport yourself the hell outta there.
We have to make decisions every single day that enable us to better shape the world around us. We don’t always have all the power to make shit happen, but we have the ability to trigger gratitude and peace so that we don’t let the roller coaster that is sometimes life overtake us.
My last bit of guidance here? If your commute is incredibly shitty, feel free to communicate that in a meaningful way to the people around you so you are not a miserable shit to them and so you give yourself time to decompress. That doesn’t have to be a whole big to-do at all. Really. Just tell them that your commute was a nightmare and you need a few minutes to breathe. Take a shower. Take a walk. Sit down for a minute by yourself. Put on comfortable clothing. Have a glass of wine. Look at a cartoon. You do you, but figure it out.
L.
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