I’ve been going back and forth whether I want to write about this topic. I have mixed feelings on certain topics, particularly those based off modern lingo or terminology. I’ve found that our society tends to name things to serve as a quick reference or the like, but something in that nomenclature makes light of issues or scenarios that are actually quite serious. Or sometimes the labeling, while cute and well-intended (sort of), ends up being exclusionary and critical. Don’t get me wrong as sometimes a theoretical hand-slapping is necessary but I’m talking about a kind of criticism that is unproductive rather than constructive.
I’d like to give an example or two of what I’m talking about before I get to the real issue I’m aiming for today, good? I imagine you might have seen or heard the word cheugy? Before I dive into the full extent of my loathing for that word, let’s explore its meaning in case you aren’t familiar. I wasn’t, familiar, and I was told that the unknowing basically made me cheugy. I want to say that I just laughed at this, but it rankled me. I felt perturbed. Not because I’m necessarily offended by the notion that I’m a little out of date (I am) and not because I don’t have a sense of humor (I do), but because it feels like such mean girl shit. I mean, really. Who the fuck decided to bring that kind of garbage back again? Or like, did it never really leave?
Who am I kidding, right? Tik Tok is basically a landing page for ‘it’ girls and guys. Sure, there are self-help wizards that post life-affirming thoughts to an upbeat soundtrack, and adorable children dancing, and there are plenty of people crying and sharing their pain, but mostly, it’s a game of who is the coolest. It IS. Okay, fine. Most social media is a game of ‘my life is the best’ and all that jazz, so fine, fine. However, someone needed to take it to the next level and create a word for the so-called non-taste makers. Really?
I’m not being salty because I’m old-fashioned. I live by the mantra of ‘I do what makes me happy.’ I like handkerchiefs and pre-owned glassware. I love oddly flavored gum, like creamsicle (thanks mom), and I routinely claim that I’ve found a new song when it is indeed from 2010. I hunt for vintage jewelry on my free time and I’m glad overalls are ‘in’ again, but I never thought they were out. Yes, sure, I like paying attention to some of the fashion trends, the Pantone colors for the season give me tingles, and I will always try a new Trader Joe’s offering. Outside of that, I’m good in my little orb. I’ve never labeled myself because of my odd interests or dated sensibilities. I know what I like. Well, except when it comes to relationships…still figuring that messy mountain out.
Like everyone, I face obstacles and challenges. I have insecurities. They don’t define me. They are just part of my human-ness. And yet, someone decided that I need a label, and a derogatory one at that.
Has anyone seen the shit that is termed cheugy? Jean jackets. Disney as an adult. Farmhouse décor. An obsession with wine. This is just a start. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Why? Instead of someone standing up and saying, dude, this is bullshit. Some 24-year-old with an overinflated sense of confidence (or the opposite) decided to incite some mean girl shit on social media and instead of shutting it down, we are going to make sure it goes viral!?!! Stop. Stop. Please, for the love of all things that you love when no one else does, STOP.
Okay, I was going to transition to the topic I had originally intended to chat about, but now I’m all fired up about this cheugy business. It used to be basic. I have used the word basic. I have. But also, I despise it now. It’s also gross to use the word basic. The Urban Dictionary (a gathering ground for all things current) defines basic as follows: “1. Used to describe someone devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to. 2. Lacking intelligence and unable to socialize on even an elementary level” (https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Basic).
You know what I’m going to say, right? Think about all the things defined as basic. Pumpkin spice lattes. Yoga. Brunch. Fro-yo. Rom-coms. GUYS. What the fuck? So, liking things that a good number of other people like makes you basic. But also, if you walk your own path, you are cheugy. Be different, but not too different. Be interesting, but only if it means liking things that are deemed acceptable by folks in their mid-20’s. But don’t try and be like someone in your mid-20’s if you aren’t, because that’s lame. Well, it’s not lame. It’s whatever word the kids use for lame now.
Why can’t we figure out a way to just do what makes us happy without making everyone else feel like shit? If you think straight leg jeans with a shark bite hem should be the next thing, then gather up your blogger friends and post the shit out of that ish and get everyone on the straight leg shark bite hem denim trend. Become zillionaires off of it and then show everyone your giant house that was put together by a professional decorator and a high-end interior designer. I will rejoice in your success. I will. I promise. I fucking love that entrepreneurial spirit and hustle. But don’t, for the love of all things holy, tell people that if they wear skinny jeans, they are basic or cheugy. Please. If you are feeling nasty or bitchy and you are thinking it, then write that shit in a journal. And then maybe strongly consider ripping up those pages and throwing them out.
I had a conversation the other day where I uttered the words ‘nothing changes if nothing changes’. I cringed a little but then I sat up a little straighter. I can’t change the world. That much I know, but still, I’m not ready to give up on the idea that humans can do better.
There is so much in the world that’s open for the taking. So damn much. Create a new color. Start a new clothing trend. Invent a new recipe. There’s also a ton that you can do to help your fellow humans. Find ways to live greener. Support those who are less fortunate or struggling. Oh, and be fucking nice. Really. Please.
I’m going to leave this here. Tomorrow I’m going to talk more about being nice to get ready. It’s happening.
Don’t resist it. Give into it.
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