Oh geez. I don’t know what career advice I’d give to my 41-year-old self. I don’t even really know what my career is right now. Is this my career? What’s the difference between a career and a job? From what I understand, a job pays the bills, and a career is some sort of professional journey. Am I on a professional journey right now? I mean I think I am, but then some days I’m not really sure.
I’m well past the point of figuring out what I want to do when I grow up, and yet, I feel like I constantly ask myself what I want to do when I grow up. Is this it? I have these fantastical moments where I wonder what it would be like to do something really special, like helping people, or really lovely, like serving tea and pretty cakes. I do. I fantasize about whisking around a bookstore on a ladder with a bow dangling from my perfectly coiffed pony (you know, like Belle style) and also, sitting and chatting up people who are waiting to see what kind of beauteous design I render in their extra hot, all the foam oat milk latte.
I mostly want to be an artist of some kind. Like someone who paints all day or writes or maybe someone who just inspires spaces. I could definitely hold babies that aren’t mine or read stories to people who find joy in them. I always found folding clothing cathartic and I was the most fabulous waitress (true story).
Who gives a shit, right? None of this really means anything unless I want to do an about face and figure out what’s next. Make a shift. Make a change. Turn everything upside down and start over. I mostly don’t because that feels silly. I think I’m pretty good at what I do, and I have a groove and I’ve tried to find one thousand ways outside of work to feed all the warm and fuzzy needs that exist in my soul and endlessly bleeding heart.
So, I’m here. I wouldn’t say I’m stuck. I could whine about that on a tough day, but that’s not true. It’s a choice. I’ve made a choice. I’ve made the best of things. I’ve celebrated all that I’ve learned and all I’ve grown into. So that, is that.
Does that make this my career? Maybe. Not sure. Let’s say that this is my career, for the sake of this discussion. Let’s agree on that point so that I can begin to share random words of wisdom. That’s just it, I don’t think it’s one thing. It’s so many things. I have a collection of words that float around my super busy brain, as placed there by experience and co-workers and managers and foes and allies. Here goes nothing…
1. With good work, usually comes more work. You may not be compensated more for this more work, but you will learn. So, do good work.
2. Above all, people want to see that someone is hard working and reliable. Don’t always be the first to leave and never be the one that isn’t reachable.
3. But, set boundaries. Have a work-life balance as best you can. I’ve never seen them reward anyone for expiring at work. The reward for such things is dying at work.
4. Select a few people, or even just one, who are your people. Everyone is not your friend. Don’t share your business with random co-workers. Keep your circle small and trust your gut when it comes to who you should confide in. When in doubt, keep things to yourself.
5. Ask questions. Endlessly. If the person you are engaging with does not seem user friendly, find someone that is and when you have run into a brick wall, rely on your good ol’ friend Google. Don’t stay unknowing. This is both unimpressive and counterproductive.
6. Dress the part. I am unique. My style is different. I don’t necessarily dress like my co-workers but I always maintain a professional line. I want people to notice my work, not my sparkly skirt. Express yourself, but know where to call it. Of course, this depends on your industry. I’m coming atcha from corporate USA, so keep THAT in mind when reading all of this.
7. Keep snacks on you at all times. A hungry worker is a grumpy and lethargic worker. Or maybe this is just me. Even if you don’t eat your own snacks, you’d be amazed at how you can garner favor with a good snack drawer. Get to know what people like. I’m not suggesting you bribe the people you work with, but I’m also not against buttering someone up with a piece of dark chocolate.
8. Don’t be a person who is known for a thing unless that thing is kicking ass and taking names. Don’t be the fish in the microwave, ripped dress, too loud, unkind, all around disaster employee. Get your shit together or figure out how to fake it.
9. Know your place. I know, cringe, but it’s true. The best advice a manager once gave me was to become a better listener. There’s a time and a place to share your opinion. Sort that out. Read your audience. Sometimes you have to be quiet, even when you know you’re right about something.
10. When you KNOW you are right about something and the right situation presents itself, don’t be afraid to voice your opinion. But, get used to people not giving a shit what you think. Don’t be ornery or disrespectful. Don’t cut your nose off to spite your face. This is nonsense. Eat a little humble pie, bitch to your friends, and move on.
11. Never over imbibe at work events. Ever. Everyone loves the sloppy drunk and also, no one does. See number 8. Don’t be that human.
12. Leave home at home. We spend SO much time at work, but this is still critical. I know there are cozy atmospheres that welcome sharing, but generally speaking, no one wants to see your personal drama played out at work. If you need a day, take a day. If you need a moment, take a walk. If you need a new job, look for one. Don’t be a shit head at work. Not a good look.
13. Don’t downplay or overlook bad treatment, particularly if it rises to the level of harassment (sexual or otherwise). If you don’t want to advocate for yourself, then think of how you voicing the issue will be impactful on others that come after you.
14. Don’t be afraid to be too tough or too kind.
15. Don’t come into work sick but don’t stay home because you are hungover. Don’t drink excessively on a work night but if you do, take some Advil and get your shit together because calling out on Mondays is a BAD look.
16. Take your vacation time. I am shitty at this and I suffer as a result. Self-care. Self-care. Self-care. I may not always take my time, but you know what I always do? I go home for dinner. Even if it’s late. I don’t eat at the office. Even if I have to sign on after. This is something makes me feel mentally better.
17. Ask for help when you need it. No shame in the game.
18. Be accountable. All around. Be proud of your work but also, own your fuck ups. People will respect you more for it.
19. Admit when you are in over your head. Do it when the water is like waist height, not hairline skimming. You may not get an instant reprieve, but it puts everyone on notice. When you share this information, do so in a non-whiny and reasonable fashion.
20. Last, but not least, when you present an issue, come to the table with a solution as well. Your work around or mitigant may not be chosen, but no one likes someone who bitches without a suggestion.
That’s it. That’s all I got, for now. These are all the things I’d tell my 16-year-old self. Oh, and get a job with benefits. Always. That’s a bonus fact for you.
x
L.
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