Hiya. Do you remember the last little bit of that quote I shared that I referenced in my last post? Well, I did. I said I was going to come back to something. Here is the something: “The answer: I cheated, because they are all lies. The real truth is there’s no such thing as truth. There’s what you believe, what I perceive, and what history remembers.”
That is just a sassy way of saying that there are three sides to every story, right? Yours, theirs, and the in between/truth.
I think most of us struggle with this sentiment because we are very focused on the truth. Not the truth in a really noble way, but the truth in the way it’s been used in recent history, particularly in the last three to five years. That’s right, I said it. The truth has been weaponized. We are forever screaming at each other about truths and non-truths. We leave no room for the understanding that everyone might have an individual truth, or that the world at large has its own distinct perspective on things. Nope.
We currently live in a world of absolutes. You know what really sucks about that entire part? It’s incredibly difficult to have a discussion that doesn’t feel combative. If a friend tells me that they love running outside because the weather is so nice, and I say that I agree but I also bemoan global warming, I’m somehow being difficult.
That’s just a silly example and there are so many others that are even more intense. Let’s forget for a moment that the decisions we are making as a society are very much impactful on one another. Let’s put that aside because, hell, many of us seemingly have done exactly that. Let’s just focus on the thought or feeling that a person has on any given topic.
I know I’ve said this one hundred times before, but I’ll say this one hundred more times. I am not giving anyone permission to be hateful or shitty. At all. I’m simply pointing out that as humans, we are complicated, nuanced, individual creatures. Sure, many of us seem to be sheep or lemmings lately, just following the sentiment of a particular crowd. Outside of that thought, we are all built differently. We have different emotional lives and intelligence levels and exposure. With that in mind, how could be possibly think that we will absorb or digest or process something the same, all the time?
I KNOW that there are facts that exist in the universe. I know that there are groups of people who are intent on debating facts, but that lunacy aside, I know there are facts. How we feel about those facts, how we handle those facts, and what we do in response to those facts (internally and externally) is a completely different story altogether.
Let’s say you are going out to dinner with a friend. You made plans. You are excited. Here’s a fact. COVID is raging. Another fact, there is a variant that is highly transmissible. Don’t come at me with your conspiracy theory horseshit. Not interested here. This is my space. Go bark up another science denying tree.
I will assuredly tell you, by the way, that I believe there is massive lying and corruption amongst our representatives and the interested parties whom support them (i.e. big pharma, etc.). That said, I believe in science and scientists and I’m not interested in listening to crazy town shit in that direction. Most of the time, I feel like that is spouted to support some narcissistic desire to live life however the fuck one wants, without any accountability whatsoever. ANYWAY….
You have plans to dine with a friend. You talk over your comfort level and determine pretty quickly that yours is much lower than hers all around. You are eating outside, but there are still going to be others in close proximity. The plans were for directly after the holidays. Blah, blah. You get it.
You do not want to be that friend. You don’t want to be the loser or stick in the mud who is making life more complicated. You don’t want to lose your friend by cancelling altogether or even bringing up the topic whereas she is suddenly feeling criticized.
All of that is valid. You know what is also valid? Owning what you are comfortable with and understanding that if people in your life can’t be respectful of your wishes, they are likely not meant to be in your life. Do you need me to repeat that for you? That’s right. I used COVID as an example because let’s be real, it’s on the tip of everyone’s tongues these days. However, there are a million other non-COVID related examples.
Again, are you wondering how we got here and how this ties back to this week’s overarching theme? Well, here you go.
I suggest starting by not calling it the truth. I know, I know. I did. I started that train and now it’s out of control. Well, I didn’t exactly start it, but I certainly contributed. Either way, I’m calling it right now. Let’s stop with the bullshit hashtag, IG reel nonsense. This is not about finding your truth like some Eat, Pray, Love quest. This is about figuring out what you want and what you need and what makes you feel the most okay in any given moment. Fuck, you can also get to feeling great. That’s pretty magical if you can get yourself there.
So yes, if you want to move forward into 2022 with a better outlook on things, you need to first get a handle on how you feel right now and whether or not you care to preserve that feeling, improve it, or toss it right down the chute. I have no intention of telling you which rung you are on right now, as I know you can do that for yourself.
I am not talking about goals (you know how I feel about NY resolutions). I am talking about your emotional life and the way in which is shapes the decisions you make. I am trying to be as hopeful as I can, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to travel internationally any time super soon. What does that mean? Well, I can easily slip into a deep depression since that was such a huge part of my life OR I can ask myself how I intend to fill that void, temporarily. What would nurturing look like in response to that level of awareness and acceptance?
Maybe you are living your life in COVID land free of restrictions or any such thoughts. Insane, but cool. This exercise is still extremely beneficial. There is so much more to focus on or explore.
Are you ready?
x
L.
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