Ah, memories.

So, this last one is actually my favorite. Admittedly, it might be the romantic in me. The last question for this exercise is -What are the memories I want to remember forever?

I’ve already talked about this a little. The way we find light in the gloom. The way that we see things after we are through them, good and bad. So much in life is multidimensional. So much is more than meets the eye.

Obviously, we know what this means in the most generic sense, right? That bit is easy.

Let’s get more granular.

It’s the sweetness after the trauma. I could focus on all the parts that were tough about the year. The ups and downs. The hopes and then, disappointment.  Some of the crappy memories are essential to hold onto because they make all the lovely ones so much shinier. I remember not being able to properly spend time with loved ones and then I remember the first hug, the first kiss, the first laugh.

I remember feeling equivocally that people are shitty and selfish and miserable and then I celebrate all the delicious ways that people have saved each other and supported each other and loved each other, despite distance and all the shit the world is throwing our way.

I can’t tell you what you should remember. I can only tell you what I will-

• A kick-ass dad in my niece’s school layering in some Disney magic to their recording of the play. Oh, and the play itself.
• All the new recipes I tried- good and bad (and all the new cooking tools and contraptions and hacks).
• Virtual flower arranging classes.
• Walks on a quiet boardwalk.
• Learning to truly appreciate outdoor heaters.
• Watching a video of my eight-year-old nephew playing the piano and shaking his ass. And then again. And then, again.
• Writing. A lot.
• Hiking snowy and mostly abandoned trails.
• Leaf peeping (iykyk).
• Virtual training to be a volunteer for LGBTQ+ youth in need.
• Starting a podcast with some of my favorite humans.
• Visiting the botanical gardens. And then, again.
• All. The. Flowers.
• Outdoor pizza parties.
• Finally seeing an old friend after too long.
• Seeing art live again. LIVE!
• Wineries and bike rides and learning how to roller blade.
• New puppies.
• Street art.
• Giving blood.
• Seeing Little Island for the first time.
• Fragrant lavender fields.
• Autumn in the Berkshires.
• Buggy fireworks.
• 65 new television shows to stream.
• Countless workouts.
• Lots of ice cream with all the rainbow sprinkles.
• Reflections. Shadows.
• Face masks and under eye patches.
• Outdoor concerts.
• Officiating my first wedding.
• Apple picking on a rainy day.
• Freshly picked eggs.
• Perfectly created cheese boards.
• The most amazing chowder eaten from the best table overlooking the bluest ocean.
• Making new friends.
• So. Many. Books.
• The Great Jack o Lantern Blaze.
• The most beautiful velvet birthday dress.
• So many Christmas lights in all the places.
• A cozy fireplace.
• A return to Art Basel.

These are just a few of my treasured memories. A few of my favorite things from a year that still felt scary and uncertain and a bit annoying. It’s a process.

It’s really important to hold your memories close to your heart. Not clinging in a way that holds you back but appreciating in a way that brings you joy. There isn’t always a lot of happiness floating around and I fully subscribe to the notion that we create joy by reflecting on it.

I know, that sounded like a wooden plaque purchased at some cheesy home goods store, but it’s the truth.

I don’t think back and fear the future or hope for different. I dive into those memories and feel grateful. Hopeful. I have a deep seated and profound desire to create new memories. Better memories. Or maybe better is unfair. Let’s just stick with new.

Like I said earlier, I can’t tell you what your memories should be. They can be tied to people or places or things. There are no rules. They could be moments or days or maybe an entire month. You might have had an experience in 2021 that made your entire year and I encourage you to spotlight the fuck out of that. Truly.

There are no rules here and you have to find what feels good for you.

I want to acknowledge that it’s possible that you don’t really have moments that you want to remember about the year. Perhaps things were really difficult. Maybe you actually want to forget the entirety of the year. I get it. I’ve been there. I promise you.

That’s okay.

There are two things that I would suggest. One- try and find some teeny spot of joy in the muck and mire. A good friend who checked in on you. The strength of your own body. An opportunity for change that you least expected.

Perhaps there is no spinning your shit into gold. I get it. I don’t think this should be forced, at all. I think you can commit yourself to moving forward. Look back further. Recall when you found joy at another time in your life. Deeply desire to find yourself there again.

As a reminder, I’m not one for manifesting, so I don’t think that you can make that happen simply by wishing it so. But I think you can put yourself in a different position to receive. I think it makes a difference when you open your heart to the possibilities.

So much in life is about how you process. How you absorb. What you want to takeaway.

You know what I mean? Have a good weekend.

x

L.