Last week I reflected on 2021. The lookback is always challenging because I try my hardest these days to avoid feelings of regret. I don’t want to beat myself up anymore for decisions I made or feelings I had or the consequences of either. If I wasn’t or I’m not pleased with the way something turned out, I’d prefer moving forward in a meaningful, understanding way that contributes to personal growth and non-critical self-reflection. I’d rather make better, kinder, more intelligent decisions on a go-forward, rather than cut myself down for decisions that I have no power to change.
That takes me to the next step in the ‘kicking off the new year right’ journey, which is actual preparation for the new year. I’ve spoken about some of what I intend to do, but this exercise is slightly different. This particular endeavor involves mixing the lookback with desired outcomes to plot a way forward. A very deliberate recipe that is very carefully followed.
Of course, I don’t believe that we can put down on paper every single thing. I don’t. Why? Well, it’s not a dissimilar sentiment from why I don’t tend to meal plan. My mother just asked me if I prepare food for the week ahead on the weekend. “Meal plan? Nah. I guess it’s a good idea and all, but I’m fairly certain that by the time I get to that one certain meal, it will not appeal to me in the slightest.”
What does this have to do with the plan for a year? Well, if I lay down on paper every singular granular intention, there is a likelihood that my dedication to that one thing will waver by the time I get around to it, just because, or other elements in my environment will have moved around significantly enough to prevent its occurrence altogether.
For example, I decide that I want to get a new job in the 1st quarter of 2022. This is going to be the year. I’m going to leave. Then, there are attractive opportunities that present at my current job, and they make sense to explore. These opportunities may not permanently change anything, but they unquestionably represent a wait-and-see. Or, things haven’t changed at my job but the market seems a bit unstable, and I’m nervous that jumping ship will only leave me adrift in the middle of the deepest part of the water, with no life raft in sight.
How do I work around that? Well, I focus more on soul growth and feelings than on actual prescribed events. I decide that I am going to be happy. I am going to work hard towards whatever level of success feels right for me. I’m going to explore those personality traits and habits and historical experiences that might be obstacles on my journey. I’m going to preemptively make a simultaneously specific and loose plan for handling things when they are thrown my way.
I’m sure you’ve already guessed it if you’ve been around here for a while, but I like to start right at the top. Once in a while, I’ll dive into a spot that feels beneficial, but in this case, not so much. So, here is the very tippy-top: What’s the first word that comes to mind when you think of 2022?
Did you laugh when you read that sentence? Choke on your tea/coffee/water/wine? Roll your eyes? All of the above? I get it. I do. If I’m brutally honest, the first word that comes to mind is disappointing, with crap qualifying as a close second.
It’s strange really because it seems outrageously shortsighted to judge an entire year based on the first few weeks. There are 365 days in a year (most of the time), so isn’t it feasible that a shitty beginning can morph into a magical “rest”? Is a year fated to be a nightmare based on a few days? Can a year be doomed from the start, without any possibility for a rebound?
Well, come on everyone. Of course, the proverbial plane can pick its nose up. Let’s get real. There just exists a natural desire for things to start, well, sunnier. That goes for nearly any situation, right? It feels more challenging to conjure up confidence when things are bleak. But challenging doesn’t mean impossible, it simply means a little tougher, or a lot tougher.
The real issue here is that things have been kind of crappy in a very general way so a lot was riding on “the beginning”. So, if I regroup for a moment, and reconsider, maybe the first word I think of when I consider 2022 is hope.
Maybe disappointment only comes after expectation, after hope. I had sundry thoughts of what things would be or could be this year and it’s clear that’s not happening. Well, not yet at least. Given how things have turned out thus far, there is a temptation to be hopeless because, without hope, there is no spiral. Without an ascension, there is no crushing feeling that follows a painful decline. However, there is also no hope, and I’m in no position to advocate for such a thing.
Maybe there are moments, many, many moments, where things feel shitty, but there are also possibilities. And that is something. The year might be short, but it is also long, and there is plenty of time to scrape together some really good stuff. There’s ample time to find the silver lining.
Perhaps the very best part of us looks like hoping at the beginning of a new year. Maybe we have to let go of all the things we wished for and wanted, and all the things that harmed us “before” and move on to a blank slate. Tabula rasa.
At the very least, don’t we owe it to ourselves and the year to start with a heaping tablespoon of neutrality with a pinch of ‘could be’?
Just saying.
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