I thought we would end the week on a good note. We’ve discussed a few heavy topics, considerations for the year, and it just feels better to shift things in a lighter direction. What are your thoughts here? I’m going to imagine that you are agreeing with me here. I know that may not be fair, but still, I’m pretty sure that’s what’s happening.
The last challenge (for now) in making a plan for 2022 is as follows: List three ways you can incorporate more fun into your life.
Did three things come to mind immediately? Are you struggling to imagine what might be fun at all anymore? Are you kind of in the middle where you can think of something that might be fun, but can’t contemplate three separate items?
I am not totally sure where I am, but I’m fairly certain that I’m somewhere in the middle. The first thing I thought of was diving deeper into the work I’ve been doing that feeds my soul. What’s that? Well, the podcast I’ve been working on (@convoforchange), the volunteer work I’ve been exploring, and WRITING!
Then, I just fall right off the diving board. What else? I want to talk about travel. I want to wax poetically about socialization. I am hoping those items are a meaningful part of my life in 2022, but I don’t feel certain at this moment. I’m not sure what the year is going to look like with either of those points based on the shit show that was the last two years.
Then, just as suddenly, I realize that fun doesn’t necessarily tie directly to an event or a person or anything of that nature. This is going to sound incredibly cheesy and maybe a bit silly, but I think that fun comes from having the correct perspective. A willingness. It’s not a given feeling. It’s one that occasionally requires some modicum of work.
So, one way that I can incorporate more fun into my life is by releasing myself of the notion that the only ways to have fun have already been discussed and disclosed and explored. My view on fun has to be more expansive if I’m going to find fun no matter what is swirling around in the world.
Does that sound insane to you? I get if it does. Think about it though. Haven’t you ever said or heard someone say that you never imagined ___________ could be fun. That line of thinking is directly tied to preconceived notions. Sometimes there is the basis of comparison that is the killer of fun. Do you know what I mean by that?
Well, perhaps my idea of a fun weekend night is being out. Getting dinner or drinks. Public socialization. And then, shit got real and I have been home more, and now, I have opportunities to have fun, but they look very different. My idea of fun might be looking up a new recipe and cooking up a lovely meal for a friend, at home. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy such an activity historically. It’s more that given the choice between staying in for a quiet evening and going out on the town, I might often choose being out.
Sure, I could entertain a sentiment like “well, I’d prefer to be out, but since I can’t be, this is a close-ish second. I suppose I would arrive at a similar conclusion as described above. However, joy doesn’t usually permanently affix itself to the choice between two vastly different things. Rather, it comes from the freedom of choice and making a really good fucking choice (albeit a scary one).
I have to allow myself to consider each new situation, well, anew. Not in the context of everything or anything else, but standing on its own accord.
What else could I do to have more fun? Well, I could assuredly put myself out there more, so that there are more opportunities to capitalize on. I can decide that there are a vast array of opportunities to have fun, but unless I decide to give things a go, there is no way for me to even get to a place where I’m in any position to have fun.
How do I do that, while also being conscious and respectful of my boundaries (remember those guys)? Well, I act with measure, after thoughtful consideration. I do not act impulsively and without information available. I maintain my boundaries within the experiences and interactions that are pivotal to my fun. I surround myself with people who are like-minded and also, people who don’t love the same activities I do (FUN!) but have a desire to get to fun in a way that encourages them to support me. Also, I consort with people who encourage me to try something new. Something that is likely to bring me a boat load of joy, but something I haven’t tried before because of fear, resistance, misinformation, etc.
What if the biggest part of having fun is deciding that you want to. I know that sounds completely insane, but it’s the truth. You have to feel comfortable having fun no matter what is imploding in the world. You can’t feel guilty or embarrassed or regretful. You just have to know that if you are nourishing yourself then you are better off. Feeding yourself in that way, even in the worst of times, is not gratuitous. It’s necessary. I mean that. It’s the only way forward.
You might be thinking that there’s no way to focus on the fun under these circumstances. You might be thinking that there’s no way to contemplate fun at the beginning of a year marked by gloom and illness and stress and anxiety. Maybe you are thinking that fun shouldn’t be anywhere on a reasonable priority list. Maybe you are thinking that fun should only be reserved for children. No adults should carve out a plan to have fun.
Wrong on all counts. That’s the shit that keeps things moving. That’s the shit that fuels us.
Keep yourself fueled. It’s a long journey, but it goes by pretty quickly.
Good weekend.
X(o)
L.
thepathtoworthy.com 