I decided to go for a walk because it was gorgeous out this weekend and I had some time on my hands. The friend that often takes my wandering adventures with me was off to secure a spot at the beach, so I was solo. Thus, I decided to pop on a Peloton walk for a little motivation. Yes, I am one of those people who subscribes to the Peloton craziness, and no, I’m not ashamed of my unabashed adoration of the platform.
Anyway, this particular walk was something of a two-for-one, as it showcased the podcast ‘Fitness Flipped,’ hosted by Tunde Oyeneyin, a popular Peloton instructor, so I got a little wisdom dropped on me whilst exercising. The focus of the episode I listened to was writing one’s own story and one of Tunde’s guests was a renowned sociologist, Tressie McMillan Cottom.
To say I was riveted would be an understatement. I think it was a combination of the intelligence of the discussion, where I am at with my journey right now, and what has been going on in the world. Some phrases spoken by Ms. Cottom that really resonated were as follows:
“…it’s about excavating the tool kit and rewriting your story…”
“[you need] space and tools to revise [the] story…”
“People power…”
“The personal is political…”
The messages that flowed underneath all the interesting and profound back and forth were as follows: we have the ability to shift and change our narrative, but it must be a purposeful effort; we are unique but wholly similar in our struggles and thoughts and feelings, so it makes sense to seek others who can relate; and, social justice movements (and revolutions) are created and executed on when people acknowledge this connective tissue that is the shared experience and then, do something about it.
These sentiments really hit me hard because it feels like we are so divided right now as a country. Not just divided, but heart broken, angry, devastated, and also, desensitized, and self-righteous. It’s staggering really, the level of disconnect. I saw an equal number of posts regarding the lack of desire to celebrate Independence Day, and total jubilation.
The funny thing, or maybe sad, or perhaps confusing, is that I fall somewhere in between. I have been disappointed in this country and its leadership, but also, I have some pretty significant underlying patriotism. I believe in this country. I believe in its values. More than anything, I find myself feeling like we’ve lost our way, or we are taking the beliefs and wishes and wants of the few and making it doctrine for all.
I saw a social media post whereas someone pondered the lack of American flags on the Fourth of July. They claimed that there are no patriots left. I was instantly irritated. What does having an American flag have to do with a sense of patriotism. I feel a loyalty and appreciation for my country, but I don’t have a flag anywhere in sight. I don’t think a flag is the only mechanism by which folks can express their patriotism, the same way that I don’t think everyone that has a flag understands exactly what it means to be patriotic. I also think that you can feel disappointed in your country and pray for change and do everything in your power to support those pushing for change, and still, consider yourself a patriot.
Most definitions of patriot include a fierce loyalty to one’s country and the willingness to fight against its enemies, and an enemy is generally considered to be someone who is actively opposed to or hostile towards someone or something. You know where I’m going with this, right? If I am disappointed in laws that are passed or the actions of the courts or the actions of the people, does that mean I am hostile towards this country? Does that mean that when we ask questions or ask for meaningful change, we should be branded an enemy?
Do you feel like I sailed off the rails here? I get it. I haven’t. I promise.
If I want people to stop shooting up parades and schools and places of worship, does that make me an enemy of this country? If I want to have the same freedoms that my male counterparts have, does that make me an enemy of this country? Whether or not I fly a flag on July 4th, or any other day, does that have ANYTHING to do with my feelings towards this country?
When we feel let down by others, does that mean we are automatically writing them off for good? I mean, it can, except that nothing worth having is really all that easy. Every good relationship requires work, and patriotism is no exception to that rule.
I don’t hate my country because of what’s going on. Sure, I have days where I deeply desire to live elsewhere, but mostly, mostly I just want to find others who have a similar narrative and desire change. Mostly, I want to feel solidarity and hope and strength in numbers. Mostly, I want to embrace the dichotomy of loving something that can be unlovable.
There are so many people in this country that are currently fighting for their right to impose their religious ideology and wishes and needs and thoughts on others, on everyone. What do I say in response? Find your people. Believe your beliefs (provided they aren’t racist, sexist, and homophobic). Feel a sense of togetherness and create a shared narrative. Be content with having a community. You don’t need to take over. You don’t need to make sure everyone is on your page. You can allow others to be free to hold their own beliefs and find their own people and find their own sense of togetherness.
Freedom runs all ways. That’s something I used to love about this country and it’s been scrubbed from our narrative as of late. Though, I have a deep and abiding faith that we will eventually find it again. Someone isn’t an enemy of this country because they don’t agree with you. If you are so subscribed to the notion of freedom and autonomy, perhaps you will find grace in your heart to extend the same goodness to everyone. Not just the people who agree with you. Think bigger.
If we want to effect meaningful change and growth, we have to make space for each other. We have to seek commonality, even when it’s less than obvious. Not just with those in our immediate vicinity who see everything as we do. Oh no. We have to think bigger, and better. We have to search for those threads. Those are the ties that bind us. That is our community. Those are the values that I subscribe to and that is foundation on which this country was built.
Not our Founding Fathers and all that shit, but a melting pot. A nation of all kinds. We’ve fucked up pretty royally over time, but if we can learn from those mistakes, and give each other space, we might just figure this out eventually.
Right?
X
L,
thepathtoworthy.com 