An Ally Forever More.

I follow Matty Maggiacomo on Instagram. Proudly. I love his Peloton classes and he is incredibly motivating and a generally adorable human. I do not say this in a crazy kind of way (though I did think this before) BUT I met him and when I say he’s adorable, I mean it. Inside and out. He has a really lovely energy that just bubbles out of him.  

I met him at the Ali Forney Dance-a-Thon through my equally fantastic cousin and I swear I was the most embarrassing fan girl and he was just so nice about it.

Anyway, I was scrolling through Instagram in bed, as I’m apt to do, and I stumbled upon a photo of Matty all dolled up for the recent Pride walk that he led on Peloton. MARA! One of my favs. The best makeup, the best hair, the best outfit, the fabulous personality. All the things. It made me smile instantaneously and then, I decided to read the comments.

I should not have read the comments.

The comments made me despondent. The comments made me question humanity. So many humans. The comments made me fearful for the world we live in, today. The comments made me frustrated. The comments made me want to do something. SOMETHING.

I won’t give any fame or voice to the despicable individuals who felt compelled to write something hateful and ignorant and dangerous. I refuse to name them. I won’t even copy their comments verbatim. I refuse.

Ultimately, their comments circled the homophobic drain, as I’m sure you can imagine. Their comments carelessly and casually threw around accusations of pedophilia and the rampant spreading of homosexuality (as if it’s a spreadable disease and not plain ol’ romantic and sexual attraction) and the destruction of our society as we know it. And all I could think was that I wouldn’t mind if our society was destroyed, just a little bit. Or maybe, just the really terrible bits.

And then, I thought how that is the exact opposite of helpful. I took a moment and realized that manifesting hate to combat hate is not a solid plan. Or at least I don’t think that’s a plan that I feel like subscribing to, at all.

Still, it seems responsible to let everything really sink it to manifest an appropriate reaction. Notice I didn’t say unemotional because, um, not possible. But perhaps, a little more level. Reasonable. I didn’t want to take it all under my skin, but I knew that I needed to fully process what I was witnessing. I needed to remind myself of what’s going on in this big, glorious, and sometimes bad and disappointing world. I needed to remember how much work we still have to do. Work towards education. Work to fight against misinformation and abject, baseless hatred.

I could wax poetically at this moment, but I’m just going to get real and tell you that there is SO MUCH BULLSHIT floating around. So much. It’s horrifying. There has always been hate. Really. People have always perpetuated loathsome lunacy as a result of their own small-minded nonsense or antiquated religious ideologies or whatever trauma motivates such feelings and thoughts.

Since the dawn of time, people have found ways to exclude and oppress and criticize and tear down. Always. We have an unbelievable knack for destroying each other in so many ways.

So, this nonsense is hardly innovative or revolutionary. And still, true to form, humans have evolved their hatred. They have organically grown and expanded all the ways in which they can wreak havoc and judge and extinguish the brightest of lights.

It’s just so fucking sad and scary.

And when I think about Matty (or Mara) and his bright pink spandex and higher wattage smile and effervescent energy, I can’t help but feel even worse. How could you want to tear down that kind of loveliness? Why can’t these people just keep scrolling or better yet, unfollow? Why can’t they just tuck their hatred away and live their teeny, vacant lives and just shut the fuck up?

Sorry. I just had to say it, because I think it. I am thinking it right now. I just wish they would be quiet. And I’m aware that they would still be out in the world and they would still hate and they would still think all the horrible shit they think, but they would be fucking quiet. And no one’s light would be dimmed, except maybe their toxic energy would get a little ding. And that would actually be fucking fabulous.

I wish I had something more profound to say. I don’t. There is no wisdom I’m offering here, this time. I feel really unnerved and mildly depressed. I am scared of my anger. I am tired. And also, motivated. I have a fire under my ass and a deep desire to combat the special kind of stupid that seems to be taking hold of more ordinary citizens with each day that passes.

It’s just really fucking simple. There are terrifying predators out in the world. Being gay has nothing to do with that. At all. Unless someone is a bit evil and also, happens to be gay. Just like someone happens to be heterosexual and is also, evil as fuck. Homosexuality and transsexuality are not contagious. They are not diseases or viruses. Drag does not corrupt or morph or taint anything at all. In fact, it’s fun and colorful and in so many ways, a celebration of life.

The truly mind-numbingly shitty things that people feel free to let fly from their mouths today do not come from a place of love or courage. They come from a place of fear and a blind allegiance to liars and thieves and, a staggering lack of education.

I didn’t engage with any of the lunatics that posted horrible shit on Matty’s post. You know what I did? I donated to two LGBTQ+ community programs that I believe in and I reported their hate speech to Instagram and I sent prayers up to a higher spirit that Matty has the willpower and wherewithal to skip right over that kind of trash.

I still feel really unsettled, a long time thereafter, but also, I feel like I’m laser focused. I feel like I’m ready to dig in and fight again. What about you? Are you mad enough yet to do something about this insanity?  

Just a tip: don’t engage. At all. You really can’t fight stupid or brainwashed. But, you can support the folks in our community who need it the most. Be an ally. Always.

Always.

Xo

L.