I didn’t write earlier this week because I’ve been back and forth quite a few times regarding what I wanted to write about. There is just so much going on in the world. Oh, and it’s the holidays for some of us. Joy, right?
Wrong.
I mean, not entirely wrong. I still carry with me the same level of gratitude, if not more, than I usually have. I count my blessings, with a keen awareness of my family and friends and job and the roof over my head and the food on my table.
And still, the world is pretty fucked right now, and I’m feeling pretty angsty about it all. I want to narrow in on one issue because if I’m being honest, it’s a dark cloud that I can’t shake. I’m aware it’s a controversial issue, but that’s never stopped me before, and I don’t intend to let it stop me now.
I’m going to back into the discussion, so bear with me.
I was recently speaking with someone about my professional life. Specifically, this person was asking me what my ideal job would be if I could describe it.
It’s hard to write this now, but I want to give you a very accurate telling of what occurred, so please know that this is precisely what happened. I didn’t think for very long, at all. In fact, I barely paused before saying the following: I’d love a job where I am compensated in line with my male colleagues.
Yeah. Just writing that now stung. And yes, I’m aware you may think you have a Miss Congeniality situation on your hands (April 25th is the perfect date- iykyk), but that’s not what happened here. I didn’t misunderstand the question. I just spoke my absolute, unfettered truth. Sure, I have some more intricate specifics that I’d envision at my perfect job, but that compensation piece is a big one.
If I told you that I haven’t spent time every year thinking about the general comp and raises and promotions of the [sometimes undeserving] men I know, I’d be lying. I do. Often. I think about how it’s so much harder for women to prove themselves. I think about how it’s particularly challenging for women who “make things difficult” with their strength and resilience and *GASP* opinions, such as myself. I think about it and then I try and will it from my psyche for another moment or two, so I can have some peace. Because I don’t have a sense of calm about any of it. I don’t rationalize it or understand it and I cannot seem to get myself to a place of reconciliation. Instead, I hope for a day when things are different.
So, is this about pay equity? No. Not really. It is about women though. And no, it’s not about women to the exclusion of anyone or everyone else. It’s about women because I am a woman. It’s about women because there is shit going on with women. It’s about women because I feel like it.
You likely have heard this story already, but I think it’s important to lay out the facts before I spew my very strong opinions. Kate Cox, a 31-year old mother of two, living in Texas, recently discovered that the child she was carrying has trisomy 18, a rare genetic condition. Of course, she lives in the misogynistic cesspool that is Texas, so Ms. Cox is not legally permitted to terminate this pregnancy in order to protect her life and prevent the suffering of the child she was hoping to bring into this world.
When I started reading articles about this tragic situation, the first thing I noticed is that most articles describing the situation advise that trisomy 18 is “almost always” fatal. And to be clear, I know this to be true. It isn’t ALWAYS fatal. There are rare situations where the child survives for some brief period of time. What the author of said articles or the producer of said news reports failed to note is what happens when the child survives. They neglected to note overlapping fingers, low set ears, decreased muscle tone, heart/lung abnormalities, clubfeet, and overall small physical size. They decided not to note congenital heart and kidney disease, breathing abnormalities that lead to respiratory failure, gastrointestinal tract and abdominal wall issues, hernias, and scoliosis. They forgot to mention that most children with trisomy 18 die from a heart related issue and the remainder usually suffer from respiratory failure.
There is no glory in me writing out these horrific ailments, diseases, and afflictions that a child can suffer with when diagnosed with trisomy 18. To the contrary, it’s heartbreaking to imagine such suffering.
And yet, Attorney General Ken Paxton, king of the shit heads, is arguing that “the state would suffer an “irreparable loss” should Cox terminate her pregnancy” (Kate Cox can’t get abortion for now, Texas Supreme Court court says, halting judge’s OK (msn.com)).
Cool. So, we are letting Paxton argue that the feelings of the so-called state are more important than that of a child and its mother? The state’s suffering is paramount to the suffering of a child?
Have we lost our damn minds? Truly.
What I would actually like is for these vile humans, men and women alike, who argue for this horseshit, to just say things as they really are. I want them to explain that what guides them is not a deep and unfailing sense of morality and ethics, but rather, blind adherence to a religious ideology that penalizes anyone who doesn’t live in accordance with the “text.”
I want them to say that they don’t really see women as sentient beings, but rather, as husks. Baby holders. Kitchen magicians. House cleaners.
I want them to say that the most important thing is that women are reduced to the infantile, brainless Stepford wives that they feel most comfortable with.
I want them to say all of that while swearing that they’ve never, ever done anything contrary to the horseshit text they are using to punish, to cause intense and irreparable suffering. No swearing, no cheating, no unkindness, no lusting, no coveting. No abortions. No spilled, wasted semen. No any of it. Just by the book living.
I want them to admit that it’s fine when they conflate law and personal beliefs because they get to stand on a higher ground simply based on what they believe to be right and just in this world.
I am absolutely astounded at the vile and hateful men that push for these laws and these decisions. I am horrified by the women who support them. I am disappointed in the hoards of lemmings who sit idly by as this shit goes on.
What’s on my wish list this holiday season?
Women’s rights.
Pay equity.
Bodily freedom.
There’s a whole host of other stuff on my list too, but those are the biggies.
Stop underpaying women and saying that it’s because they need to measure up to some impossible standard. Stop telling women they shouldn’t age. Stop telling women when they should get married, how they should get divorced, when they should get pregnant and when they should terminate a pregnancy. Stop telling women to get bigger breasts and plumper asses and wrinkle-free faces and frizz-free hair. Stop idealizing women while tearing them to shreds. Stop justifying the murder of Israeli women and girls because the Israeli government is horrifying. Stop rationalizing the murder of Palestinian women and girls because they live under the thumb of terrorists. Stop raising the prices and lowering the accessibility of birth control and menstruation supplies.
Stop pretending like you are the children of some omnipotent figure and start owning what you actually are: angry, threatened, small-minded, petty, pathetic, sexist ogres.
All of you.
X
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thepathtoworthy.com 