Girl Math.

I saw this ad on Instagram the other day for something. I mean, it obviously did not do the job because I can’t remember for the life of me what it was. Something, anyway. The advertisement was focused on a sale and the verbiage used was as follows: girl math.

I fucking saw red. That’s the truth. It just pissed me off to no end. I mean, we all know what that means, right? Math that’s broken down in such a way that women understand it, so women can relate to it and it makes sense.

I want to admit that maybe I’m feeling a bit more sensitive than usual lately. I’ve had some stuff going on and I am acutely aware of inequities and nonsense. My skin feels incredibly thin, and the world feels harsher than usual.

Anyway, I’m not great at math. That’s not to say that I’m terrible at math, but I’m not fantastic. I’m not going to shift into the accounting profession anytime soon. That’s not to say that I didn’t wish I was better at math, because there are many days (particularly working in real estate finance) where I do wish that was the case. And still, that’s not the brain I was blessed with, or maybe, I just don’t work hard enough at it.

And still, I really resent the implication that there’s a special kind of math for women. Just like I resent the run like a girl bullshit. In fact, while I’m on the topic, I resent the campaigns that use ‘run like a girl’ to show how badass women are, even though they are trying to “help.”

Why?

Well, it’s still the same bullshit language. There are still the assigned gender roles that make me cringe. I want to be clear that there are anatomical realities based on one’s sex at birth and genetics. There is science, right? I’m not here to debate science. I don’t know enough to even begin to navigate that whole situation. I’m just sick to death of categories. I think that’s what it comes down to.

I’m tired of people saying dumb shit and then following it with: you know what I mean, right?

That statement usually follows a very ignorant or offensive statement. Like I’m going to say something pretty gross but you know me, and I’M not gross, so all good, right?

Wrong. At least for me wrong.

I don’t know the right answer. I was born a female and I identify as female, a woman, and I’m proud of that fact. Not that my born and appropriate gender match, but I’m proud to be a woman. I’m proud of my complications and passions and emotion and intelligence and strength and everything in between. I’m a work in progress but I’ve never had an issue with my woman-ness.

I guess I’m tired of it being a thing. I’m worn out from it being part of the discussion, endlessly. Like we always have to couch everything with sex, or race, or some other characteristic.

Last week someone was telling me a story and mentioned that the individual was black. I asked, immediately, what that had to do with the story. The storyteller advised that they were just trying to paint a full picture. Of course, they said it defensively. I didn’t care. Feel free to get your panties all sorts of twisted up. What the fuck did that have to do with anything, unless you were telling a story whereas someone’s race is relevant (i.e., a story about racism or discrimination, or etc.)?

We endlessly put people into buckets and then analyze, judge, and jury them based on the qualities or traits that we’ve associated with that particular bucket. I don’t understand it. I really don’t. And I am not a super PC, humorless kind of human. To the contrary, I still think George Carlin is one of the best comedians of all time. I can find a laugh in almost anything, provided it isn’t in really poor taste. And yes, there’s even some basement dwelling humor that’ll give me a chuckle on a rancid day.

I’m just so tired of this weird sorting and assignment exercise we seem to endlessly do. I’m tired that it’s become so engrained in who we are, that we have a completely different language for it. We use phraseology like “girl math” because it fits. Because everyone gets it. Oh, girl math. Simple math. Easy sales. Chef’s kiss.

No.  And that’s not my sensitive bits speaking. That’s the strong ass woman that would like us to shift our energy and attention elsewhere. We can certainly acknowledge and celebrate those various parts of people, men, women, and non-binary folks that make them uniquely them, and still, leave space for the possibility that there’s more. That there are exceptions. That there’s a different story with different characters that fit a different mold and that’s a-okay.

I commented on the girl math post on Instagram and then I felt cranky when I didn’t get a response. Why did they ignore me? Didn’t they realize how offensive the post is/was? I mean, they clearly don’t give a crap, right? For every one of me, there is a whole slew of others that has no issue with such things. They are just fine. I’m a super sensitive weirdo and they are on the right side of justice and people categorizing and sale promoting and all the things.

But, am I? Or can we do things differently?

I know I keep waxing poetically about the same topics, but honestly, I’m exhausted.

Not tired where I want to give up, but tired where I’m ready to see something change. I want to see something fucking change. I don’t think that’s a lot to ask.

I’m not even asking for monumental change. Maybe just baby steps. Maybe where we can find a different phrase other than girl math. That’s not too much to ask, right?

I don’t even mind if you say: sales for those of us who are lacking in the math department. I would then probably sheepishly raise my hand and say, it me.

X

L.