I was at a good friend’s apartment last night, and he brought up Bunsen Honeydew. Actually, I made a sound that was Beaker like, and the conversation turned to Bunsen. In case these names are foreign to you, these are characters from the Muppets.
Why were we talking about the Muppets? Well, it’s age appropriate for us to look back fondly on the Muppets, a show that had its heyday in the 80s (and 70s). Also, he was trying to make me laugh. I was in a wretched mood and in an attempt to lift my spirits, he accused me of sounding like one of the Muppets.
Now, if I’m being honest, there are times when this attempt to cheer me up will actually have the opposite effect. I will find myself feeling grumpier and resentful over the attempt to switch lanes, so to speak.
This time, it was a welcome respite. I was craving a sunnier disposition. I needed to feel better about things. I’m not generally a miserable person. To the contrary, I usually try and find the sliver of goodness in things, and people for that matter.
And yet, I’ve been tested in a major way lately. I find myself wondering what this is all leading to. I know it’s something.
I was with a colleague and some fabulous young people yesterday. My colleague shared a piece of advice with these beautiful young people that really resonated with me. He started by sharing a story from an earlier place in his career. He had been working on an advertising campaign whereas they interviewed major executives, mostly CEOs, and asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up. Universally, the CEOs shared that they hadn’t necessarily figured that bit out at the point they were being asked the question. They advised that despite their perceived level of success, they still had things left on their ‘to do’ list. To conclude the story and tie it back to a meaningful takeaway, my colleague shared that the best part of all of this thing we call a career or life is the journey.
He shared that sometimes things feel messy and complicated, and we aren’t exactly certain what they all mean, but we have to embrace that discomfort. We have to celebrate each bit as another step along the way. And usually, at some point, it all becomes clear. And to be fair, that clarity isn’t always something to be overjoyed about- but it’s still a valuable lesson, a necessary ah-ha moment.
So, how do these stories, these bits, tie together?
It would have been easy for me to sit in my pain yesterday. So easy. I was feeling sorry for myself in a major way. I have been frustrated at work and a little over things in my personal life and wallowing felt like a worthy pastime in that moment. I didn’t want to be comforted and I didn’t want to be told that things were going to get better at some point. I just wanted to be really pissed off with where they are at right now.
A few important people in my life did try and make me feel better, but I was pretty dug in. I didn’t want to see the silver lining. I mean, I’m always grateful for the comforts in my life, but I didn’t want to celebrate the shitty situation I found myself in the way you do for moments that shift your life. I just wanted to be sully and sulk. All the ‘you got this’ and ‘keep moving’ and ‘hold onto your anger’ pep talks were hitting me like punches to the gut.
And then, I got told that I sounded like Beaker. And I had a fifteen-minute conversation about how Bunsen Honeydew doesn’t have eyes. Because he doesn’t. He has glasses, but no eyes. And this fact, that I neglected to pick up on as a child, caught me off-guard. And by that, I mean I couldn’t stop laughing. I was hysterical.
That’s terrifying! I exclaimed, while trying to catch my breath.
It isn’t really all that terrifying. I mean, it’s a bit strange that he has no eyes, but also, he’s a puppet. A Muppet, and also, one of many characters with unusual features. Plus, there are so many humans with unusual features- it seems silly to get stuck on this point when it comes to a doll.
I’m getting off track. The point is, I just needed someone to make me laugh. I didn’t need to laugh about my situation, because I don’t find it particularly amusing right now. I didn’t need to find the humor in the shit I’m dealing with, at all. I just needed to laugh about something completely absurd, like a Muppet with no eyes and glasses.
I needed that level of joy in my life, and my dearest friend delivered.
I know that this little respite didn’t change anything in my life. It didn’t necessarily change my perspective. You know what, though? It was part of the journey. I wasn’t focused on fixing the issues that need some attention right now. I wasn’t obsessed with the notion of making things better for myself. Not at all. Instead, I was able to widen my lens for a moment. Instead of just putting my attention on the situations that have been causing me stress, I was able to step outside. I am not going to forget about the other stuff, because it’s literally impossible. And I’m not going to try and bury or subvert my feelings. I have no intention of pretending or hiding.
I just needed a break. And sometimes the break that we need is the hardest thing to find ourselves. In those moments, we need others who are a part of our journey to help us. And sometimes they just know and other times, we have to raise our hand and ask for it. And either way, it’s just fine. Either way, it does the trick.
I can’t tell you what your break is, but mine was in the form of a Muppet. And a friend. And a moment in the dark, with laughter, and love.
Find your break. Ask for your break. Accept your break when it’s presented to you.
It’s all part of the journey.
X
L.
P.S. Away next week- hanging with mom. See you soon.
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