I hired a coach recently. I realize how privileged that statement is, and I want to first acknowledge that point. I have the resources to pay for a coach and the free time to be coached. For this, I am grateful. I mean it. That is not a throw away statement.
This is not a post for me to wax poetically about the joys of privilege. I just think it’s important to call out that not everyone can relate to that particular fact. Hell, there are many humans with physical impairments that make the idea of a coach laughable, or perhaps cruel is the better word. I understand all of that in a really meaningful way. I do. But, I can’t dive into the subject I’m about to explore without explaining where it all comes from.
I mean. I could, but that would be pretty disingenuous.
I have trained solo for many years. Many, many years. Sure, I’ve taken classes and belonged to gyms and even taken a personal training sesh or two. But mostly, I’ve been a solo act. There are several reasons for this fact. At different times in life, this has been a resource issue. And then, sometimes an “I can do it myself so why pay someone” issue. And also, there’s a lot of “I’m not a real athlete and coaches are for real athletes” issue. Imposter syndrome for active folks. I mean, I have it nearly everywhere else- why make pesky exceptions, amiright?!
Anyway, my solo training has consisted of me going online and downloading a training plan from a website (for the event in question) and then mostly following it, with some modifications based on life and equipment.
And I’ll let you in on a secret: I always pick the beginner training program. Always.
I want to be clear if this is not your thing that what I’m talking about is the training program. Not the event itself. I’m not picking a slower or more moderate group to give myself a greater level of comfort on the day of said event. I’m literally picking a program to TRAIN for the event (in private) that is on a beginner level.
Sorry- another caveat is in order I think. I’m not picking the beginner program so I can feel like I’m killing it in the training game. I’m not picking beginner because it’s uber comfortable for me and I want to cruise. I’m selecting the beginner program because I think that’s where I belong. I have always thought that’s the most appropriate training program for me.
As part of someone building a coaching program for you (if you don’t know)- you have to share your historical performance and plans and training. I did that, with unvarnished honesty.
And so, when I looked at the workouts planned for me, I was convinced that perhaps I had gotten someone else’s training program. My plan had apparently been mixed up with someone else’s plan.
But, in keeping with my confessional, I was too embarrassed to go back to the coach and have that conversation. I mean, I made a few backhanded remarks about my pokey pace but I also figured I’d die trying.
But, I didn’t. Die. I tried and I succeeded. Not just for one, but each and every planned workout. I couldn’t believe it. How? Howwww?!
Is this a post about my athletic prowess? No. Not at all. I’m still comparatively pokey. This is all to say that a stranger had greater faith in my ability than I did, or I do.
That, my friends, is a tough pill to swallow.
Sure, it tracks based on who I am and our society and so on and so forth. And still, gut punch. Truly. I feel a bit gutted when I think about how I didn’t push myself until I was properly accountable to another human. I didn’t even try because I was so afraid and so convinced that the safer space was a level below.
Even as I’m writing this, I’m telling myself that any day now, I could fail. It’s possible that I won’t be able to complete a workout and what am I then? A failure? A fraud?
Or not. Maybe it’s actually better to miss the mark trying, or reaching, than to hit the mark settling?
It’s amazing to have coaches and support systems and cheerleaders. Really unbelievable. But, don’t we need to do that for ourselves, too?
If we aren’t able to see our own goodness, if we aren’t able to push ourselves to be bigger and better, does the positive reinforcement really stick for longer than a minute?
Is it better to constantly seek outside forces for motivation or do we need to eventually find all of that somewhere inside of us?
Don’t get me wrong, as I know what I’m suggesting is truly one of the most difficult things to do. Finding a squad within your own person is a massive endeavor. It’s one that requires work and dedication and faith and patience and even a little suspension of disbelief.
Ultimately, at the end of the day, circumstances can change and people will leave and we only really ever have ourselves. And I don’t mean that in any way that’s morbid. I just mean that it behooves us to try and find a little (or a lot) of that juice in our own cells.
How do we do that, really? Well, it’s hard for me to tell you that. It’s not a one size fits all situation. Every single one of us is different. So try everything. I’m serious. Therapy, podcasts, motivation or meditation apps, journaling, a reward system. Try it all. Find what feels comfortable and reasonable and effective.
The outcome is going to be as personal as the process, but I can tell you one thing- no one should ever push you harder to be the best version of you, than you.
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