Well, here we are again, International Women’s Day. My least favorite day of the year. I mean, it’s tomorrow, but I feel grumpy already. I want so badly to be able to celebrate this day, but I can’t. Not really.
Don’t get me wrong – I can wax poetically about the fucking awesome women I know. That’s easy. That part is incredibly simple. I know so many bad ass, special women.
It’s the overarching notion that we truly celebrate women on any level in this country, or elsewhere for that matter.
I had a gentleman walk into my office the other day and plop himself down to catch up. I can’t tell you that he is one of my favorite humans. In fact, it’s generous to call him a gentleman. Sure, he’s financially well-off and generally polished, but outside of that, he’s pretty close to a human garbage pail.
I think there was one point in time where I found him more palatable, but that is when I knew him less or perhaps, I knew myself less. I don’t know, but either way, I wised up and I have less than zero interest in engaging with him at this point.
And still, there is a particular respect that is owed to individuals that hold a certain position so I do my best to walk that line in a way that’s compliant, but barely so.
He was telling me about things going on in his life (can’t say I really cared, but I can listen well enough) and somehow, we tripped into politics. This seems to happen more and more these days, and not because I have any interest in doing so. I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m a person who speaks up when it comes to the things I believe im. I also do not tolerate a bunch of bullshit being spewed in close proximity to my person.
That said, I’m mindful about how I engage, particularly in a work setting. I recognize that decorum went out the window for many some time ago, but I’m not that gal. At all.
I don’t really want to regurgitate what he said because I don’t want to give his thoughts more air than they deserve. Not really. Also, you can probably guess the gist. Needless to say, we ended on the following notes: me realizing that he is comfortable tuning everything outside of holding onto his money out (and I do mean everything) and me expressing outrage that as a man with three daughters he could do that.
You know what he did? He looked me squarely in the face and told me his daughters would be fine. Sure. That’s what a lot of folks supporting Trump, Elon and JD Vance are saying right now, aren’t they? It’s actually more than that. They are expressing gratitude for this administration, expressing that without these saviors in power, their children would be subject to the predatory behavior of the trans and gay population in this country. And let’s not forget the absolutely criminal behavior of all those dark-skinned immigrants, amiright?
Do we need a cogent immigration policy in this country? We sure as hell do. Less for the racist assholes who use immigrants when it suits them and condemns them when it does not, but more for the people who are coming to this country. They need a viable path to immigration which includes a way to work and take care of themselves so they don’t have to rely on programs and services and so they are not ripe for abuse and violence. Do we need to address the trans/sports issues with care and thoughtfulness? We sure do. But as I’ve stated, we have the most brilliant athletes and scientists at our fingertips. You mean to tell me that they can’t sort out the best way to tackle this to promote equity and inclusion and also, fairness? Also, do you know how few trans individuals participate in sports, generally? Do we have crime in this country? We sure do. But your child is more likely to be caught in the crossfire of a school shooting or preyed on by a family member, religious leader, neighbor, or romantic partner. That’s not my opinion. I mean, sure, it seems pretty fucking logical to me, but these are hard facts. I’ve pasted just a few links below. There are so many others, from reputable sources. Not biased news outlets, but organizations that collect and aggregate real data.
Why am I repeating myself? Well, hot damn. It feels like this country is infected. Sure, this man is a very wealthy white dude living in suburbia, but also, he has a wife who he respects and three beautiful daughters. He is also highly educated and has always struck me as a relatively reasonable human. I can see where he is fine with not being taxed at a certain level and even getting rid of social welfare programs but as someone with some younger children (second marriage to a younger woman and all that)- a measles epidemic? Absolutely no gun regulation? Incensing our allies? How about firing a whole slew of individuals responsible for things like our national parks and the nuclear codes?
I know there is an undercurrent of racism and sexism and all the other isms that runs strong in our blood in this country as privileged white people, but holy shit, this feels bigger. Bigger and scarier. More pervasive, more resistant to rational thought and discussion. Entirely resistant to the provision of facts that would combat the hard line view they’ve taken- which is to support this administration no matter what. Which is to stand behind the sentiment that they’ve chosen correctly instead of admitting that perhaps they made a mistake.
Of course, there are the few that are now admitting that perhaps they made a mistake in choosing President Trump. And there are those who will condemn them for changing their mind (on both sides) after being harmed. The left will say that it’s too late and they chose poorly and are undeserving of redemption and the right will say that they just can’t hack it, they can’t stomach what suffering needs to occur to ‘trim the fat’ and ‘make American great, again.’
I want more of that. More admissions. More revelations. More apologies. More acknowledgment. More compassion. More awareness. More facts. More kindness. More listening. Less fear. Less hatred. Less myopic viewpoints. Less single issue, dig-your-heels-in garbage. Less thinking that we, the lower and middle class are best served by the upper class and billionaires. Less thinking that just because someone isn’t like us, they don’t deserve the same rights and privileges.
I can’t celebrate women, but it’s not just because we live in a country that’s hurting women every single day, by denying healthcare and seeking to restrict basic bodily rights (in addition to others). I can’t celebrate women because there are so many women, humans that I’ve deemed special and vibrating at a higher frequency, who are buying into this shit. There are so many women married to men like the dude who walked into my office who allow this shit to be spewed in their presence without saying a word. There are so many women who are willing to sacrifice their own peace for a peace they perceive will occur elsewhere in this country or in the world, without the understanding that it doesn’t work that way. There are so many humans who won’t let trans women be at peace, but also, don’t seem to really give a shit about women, so I’m not sure why they care who opts in to this complicated and maligned sex of ours.
I’m not ready yet because there’s too much work to be done. Way too much work.
Are you ready to do the work, or are you quiet, too?
X
L.
Links:
https://www.americanimmigrationcouncil.org/research/debunking-myth-immigrants-and-crime
thepathtoworthy.com 