Time out?

I feel like we need to do a time out today. Can we do a time out? How could I possibly let today go unrecognized? Before you hesitate, before you feel your breath hitch, this is not an anti-Trump post. Relax yourself. And if you want it to be anti-Trump, just Google. You’ll have your fill in moments without my participation. It isn’t because I can’t get on that bandwagon. It’s just because I have other stuff to deal with, more important stuff.

I was talking to one of my closest friends this morning on my way into work and I mentioned to her that I felt like the appointment of Kamala Harris was being treated in a rather underwhelming fashion. I told her that I didn’t much care whether people “like” her or not. Ultimately, I just wish they would acknowledge this epic step for women. I mean holy fucking shit y’all…we have a female Vice President.

Let’s just sit with that for a moment, shall we? I mean, I am emotional. Floored. Speechless. Well, let’s not get crazy. I am never without words. I usually have the opposite problem whereas I am too many words. All the words.

I think you know this already, but I work in business. People will quote you chapter and verse how things have gotten better for women in business. Look at how many female executives are, they say. Look at how many women are on boards, they cry. Look at how many “ladies” are in positions of power. Um. Yeah. Stop it right now. This is horseshit. Do those situations exist? They sure do. Woman are moving up the corporate ladder and earning seats as board directors and being recognized.

However, I will challenge you to point to a scenario whereas this happened without at least a little struggle. Consider a spectrum from placating and people pleasing to real, in the dirt clawing to the top. Sure, there are exceptions. There are people who are in the right place at the right time or people who have fierce advocates working on their behalf. But that, that, is super rare my friends. Most of the woman I talk to in business will tell you that it is a battle. A hunker down, roll-your-sleeves-up and prepare to fight battle.

I was talking to someone else this morning (busy morning for this commuter) who was speaking about a woman who was getting a salary adjustment at his company this year. His comment to me is that it seemed a little soon because she was recently appointed to her position. You know what my first thought was?

Let me give you a hint, or several…

I didn’t ponder her qualifications or contributions. I didn’t ask what her prior salary was as compared to her “new” compensation. I didn’t authoritatively assert without any basis that she deserves it or does not.

None of the above.

I thought the following: They would NEVER say this about a man.

They just wouldn’t. That isn’t a poor me, rallying feminism cry. That is just the truth.

They might think it but they would never say it. Or, it would be a stretch. You know the whole ‘presumption of innocence before application of guilt’ deal? I feel like women are presumed incompetent until proven otherwise.

Don’t agree with me? That’s fine. I can assure you that I myself have experienced this and I have witnessed this phenomenon countless times amongst co-workers and business associates.  You do something and there’s this wow factor. Holy shit, nice work girl. High fives all around. And yet, the opposite holds true, as well. Process and demonstrate comprehension of a simple business concept and you are a fucking rock star. Well on your way to splitting the atom. Balance home life and work and a million other things? Meh. Whatever. Expected.

This is just the way our society is set up and I think we can agree that this concept exists times one million when it comes to race. Inequality. Basic, pervasive, disappointing inequality.

So, when a woman is sworn into the office of Vice President, maybe we don’t know how to feel. Maybe we are so conditioned to expect too much or too little that we somewhat overlook it and then spend time circling the drain. Is that possible? Well, it’s more than possible, it’s probable. Actually, it’s more than probable, it’s happening.

I plan to feel differently. I plan to do things differently. Not only am I going to celebrate the fuck out of the fact that we have a new administration and the inclusion of a woman on that team, but I am going to expect her to do things. Vice Presidential things.

I am not going to expect too much from her. I am going to expect what one should expect from someone who holds that position. Let it be known that I expected the same from Mike Pence and he royally shit the bed. I am not being harsh. That’s just the truth. In addition to sundry informal duties and obligations, the VP is supposed to cast a tie-breaking vote when the senate is in deadlock (considering the welfare of this country and its people when doing so) and s/he must preside over and certify the official vote count of the Electoral College. Ba ha ha ha. Bitch please. I give him a D-. And that’s generous on my part. He should be flunked but I will give him a couple of points just because I am feeling joyous over the news today.

Maybe that is my longwinded point. Maybe I had to say a whole bunch of something or nothing to get to the very nitty gritty. Maybe it is less that I hope for a day where women can be welcomed into the board room and White House, and more that I long for a day when it isn’t a thing.

I want to finish this post with a thought that might seem off base but is actually right in line with all of it.

I loved the show Bridgerton. I mean, me and every other romantically inclined human I know. When I first suggested the show to a friend, she asked if it was very ‘agenda-y’ and I laughed. Shonda Rhimes tends to push her agenda in her shows. And that’s cool because I’m usually on the right side of her agenda. The thing is, sometimes you just want to lose yourself in a show, and I get that. My friend is also on the right side of the Rhimes agenda but wanted an escape. I get it. I told her that the loveliest part of the show is that it makes the race issue a non-issue. Don’t get me wrong, there is classism and sexism and a host of other issues but generally speaking, the race issue is sort of a non-event. It’s like when people say they can’t wait for a time where coming out isn’t a thing because it doesn’t need to be (same). Am I making sense here?

Hopefully I am, because I’m about to circle back and wrap things up.

I cannot fucking wait for the day when it doesn’t matter if the woman is a Vice President. She doesn’t have a higher bar, not to get elected and not in fulfilling her duties. It’s just the way things roll. Today is momentous because in my hopeful heart, today got us one-step closer.

And that, my friends, is cause for celebration.

xo

L.