Maybe I’ve exhausted you this week. I feel pretty tired myself. I’m fatigued from what I am seeing happen all around me. I try to be understanding. Maybe that is part of the problem. I spend a lot of time trying to rationalize other people’s behavior or just make it make sense. It doesn’t make sense. At all. Anyway, I’m going to rally for a hot minute so I can try and connect some dots.
I was doing that thing again the other night where I sink into a black hole of music downloading. I found several bazillion new songs that spoke to me, including ‘Shit Happens’ by Katelyn Tarver. I want to share a few of the lyrics with you because they tie directly to what I’m trying to say. Ready or not….
Sometimes good guys get no credit
And bad guys get all the breaks
And you get that house you wanted
But it’s just more empty space
The happy couple you look up to
Is getting a divorce
Your ex is dating your best friend
And you can tell he loves her more
And I’m not trying to be all doom and gloom
Sometimes shit just happens
Worse than you can imagine
Stop trying to make it make sense
Sometimes shit just happens
I really, really needed to hear that song at the moment I found it. Why? I told you already. I was trying to make sense of things in my head. In fact, this feels like a particularly poignant time to explore the rationale of people’s behavior and speech as we are approaching the twentieth anniversary of 9/11.
I feel like I’ve shared this sentiment before, but the anniversary guts me every year. You know what it also does? Gives me a teensy weensy blossom of hope in my chest. Why? Well, during what was truly the worst of times, we all came together. Most of us, anyway. We put aside judgments and self-righteousness and criticism and all that garbage and we just loved the shit out of each other.
We were all so aggrieved and so, we decided in the most magical unspoken way, that all we really needed was to lean on each other and support each other and find solace in a collective wholeness. It was so beautiful. It was so reassuring. It was so strengthening.
What the fuck happened? I mean, really. It is because we made a pandemic (aka a health crisis) into a political battle ground? Is that why we are drowning instead of rallying? Is that why we are at each other’s throats instead of lifting each other up? Is that why we can’t figure this the fuck out? Why? I am asking this with the most genuine spirit. I promise you. This is not a loaded question. I feel lost.
I don’t just feel lost, actually. I do, but also, I feel pissed off. I feel disappointed. I’ve spent a good deal of time this week trying to explain that I respect other points of view. I’ve tried to stress that we should have the freedom (with certain boundaries) to live our lives in the way that we want to. We aren’t doing that though. We are killing each other. We are propagating hate and conspiracy theories. We are making shit stirring memes like it’s going out of style.
I have my own views about the vaccine, but this is not about the vaccine. This is about everything. Big picture, people. Major big picture.
We are using human illness and death as statistical weaponry; lobbed at each other with the purpose of total annihilation. On BOTH sides. On ALL sides. We have abandoned our humanity with the intention of being right. We have to be right. Always. No matter what.
How fucking tragic.
I don’t know what the answer is, at all. Part of me feels like I need to subscribe to the sentiment of ‘Shit Happens’ and just accept that this is how things are right now. Most of me feels like that’s just giving up. I don’t want to give up. Sure, I can accept that certain things are just happening “because”, but when it comes to how we interact as humans? I’m less apt to just throw in the towel.
Why can’t we figure this out? Is it because we are all hiding behind phone and computer screens? Have they become the new defensive ditches? Are we smiling at each other while we toss barbs and unkind words over the interweb? Is that what we’ve become? I can’t just absorb that notion and be okay with it. I just can’t.
I can accept that I’m chatting with a guy online and he ghosts me. I can accept that a friend of mine is suddenly acting like a shit head. I can decide to not question the universe when someone hits my car and then drives away. I can look at so much that has and continues to swirl around me and go, cool, I get it. But, not this.
I feel like if I just take this on as something the universe is doling out for the time being, I’m giving up on the idea that we can fix this and I refuse to throw in the towel in that way. I think we can do better. I think we can find common ground. I will NOT accept hateful rhetoric and I won’t get on board with actions and activities that deliberately (or even inadvertently) cause harm to others. I won’t. However, I can respect other points of view. I can try and wrap my brain around others’ fears and hesitations. It has to be a two-way street though. We have to be able to come to a sort of mutual understanding.
We are in dire straits right now. I mean it. Shit is real in this country and we are falling apart at the seams. Isn’t this the time where we stand up for each other? Isn’t this the time where we approach everything with love and compassion?
I don’t believe all hope is lost. We can do this. We all have to try though. All of us.
Really.
Think on that this weekend.
Xo
L.
thepathtoworthy.com 